Uncle Walt's Insider Page 32 – Uncle Walt's Insider

Genie+ isn’t the end of new Disney upcharges – shareholders cheer!

We'd write a subheadline, but we're afraid Disney will charge us for it. BURBANK, CA -- Uncle Walt's Insider previously reported (with 100% accuracy) that it was coming, but now Disney has now officially announced the new "Genie" service. The Genie app eliminates all those annoying free features that investors hated and brings in a new era of pay-to-play to the Disney parks. This revenue-generating service (again, first announced here at UWI) will eliminate FastPass, FastPass+, MaxPass, MaxPass+, and FastPass+-++-++. [Walt.: Marty, ...

You know we wear it as a badge of honor when Snopes debunks us, right? Photo source: Snopes.com.

Snopes co-founder to write for Uncle Walt’s Insider? Nah.

Hey, we make stuff up, too, but we still have standards. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- David Mikkelson, newly-unemployed co-founder of the "Snopes.com" "fact-checking" "website" may be looking for a new place to write. But it won't be at Uncle Walt's Insider. While some may think it's a great fit -- writing under an assumed name, making stuff up, plagiarism -- we really can't see it working out. For as both of our regular readers know, we strive at all times to ...

August 21, 2021 by Marty in Other

Artist's rendering of the site of Disneyland Kabul, before the fall. Photo by Sven Dirks via Wikimedia & BloomyLiahona via DeviantArt, both [CC-BY-SA-3.0].

Plans for Disneyland Kabul “on hold” for now

Probably a good call, considering. BURBANK, CA -- The Disney Company announced today that its plans for a Disneyland-style theme park in Kabul, Afghanistan, have been placed on hold for the foreseeable future. The press release did not provide specific reasons for the delay, but sources inside the company say that Afghans on the project are too busy trying to flee the country to continue work at this time. We reached out to Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for comment, ...

August 18, 2021 by Marty in World

Totally not fake before and after photos of this guy. Churro photo by Mark Mitchell [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr; Before photo [CC BY-NC-ND 3.0] from probaway.com; After photo Public Domain via Wikimedia.

California man loses 350 pounds on the Churro Diet!

Really? This type clickbait headline is what Uncle Walt's Insider has sunk to? GARDEN GROVE, CA -- Uncle Walt's Insider recently learned of a man who lost 350 pounds on the Churro Diet! This is his story. Tom "Tommy" Thomason (pictured above, maybe) started his weight loss journey in late 2019, vowing to make use of his Disneyland Annual Pass to walk the parks daily and only eat one churro a day. While some would say this diet lacked vitamins and any ...

August 15, 2021 by Walt in California, Spotlight

President* Biden's animatronic in the Hall of President*s is already malfunctioning. Or is it? Photo by Kjersti Holmang [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikipedia.

Hall of Presidents finally reopens, after Trump animatronic refuses to move

Presidential shenanigans galore. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- The Hall of Presidents has finally reopened, but not without some presidential drama. Crowds are returning to the attraction now, with approximately two people waiting to be the first to visit the newly reopened Hall of Presidents. While the Hall was originally scheduled to reopen earlier this year, a few setbacks delayed the opening. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, Imagineer Joey Stallone shared details of the setbacks with Uncle Walt's. We'll never tell who you are, ...

August 12, 2021 by Walt in Florida