“True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks” is an ongoing series, where we share believable stories of park guests’ unbelievable stupidity.
FROM STUPID GUEST TRICKS —
StupidGuestTricks.com was a website founded to provide Disney Cast Members and other theme park employees a place to vent about some of the idiots they’ve dealt with. Most Cast Members will tell you that 99% of the guests they deal with are wonderful, but there’s always that 1% that lead to aggravation — and some pretty funny stories.
Now that Uncle Walt’s Insider has completed its hostile takeover of Stupid Guest Tricks, we can bring you some of our favorite stories that have been collected there over the years.
Keep it quiet, or half the people will be boarding there.
Cast Member: “Welcome to Big Thunder Railroad!”
Stupid Guest: “Hey, where can I get one of those Fastpasses to ride the ‘Fastpass Side’ of the ride?”
CM: “There is only one track, sir. Two stations, but one track.”
SG: “No, they’re different! We really want the Fastpass track!”
CM: (sigh) “No problem, sir. I’ll sneak you onto their ‘track.’ But don’t tell anyone!”
SG: “Thanks! You’re the best!”
Words are hard.
At the loading area of Pirates of the Caribbean:
Stupid Guest: “Where does the ride exit at?”
Cast Member: “Next door in the gift shop.”
SG: “Okay, but where is that?”
CM: (slower this time) “Next door. In the gift shop.”
Related: Where is Earth?
I’m working on Main Street USA in Disneyland. A guest approaches wearing a Disneyland sweatshirt and golden Mickey ears.
Stupid Guest: “Where is Disneyland?”
Cast Member: “…”
CM: “… Are you serious?”
SG: “Um, yes! Where is Disneyland?”
CM: “… I’m sorry, I have to walk away now…”