“True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks” is an ongoing series, where we share believable stories of park guests’ unbelievable stupidity.
FROM STUPID GUEST TRICKS —
StupidGuestTricks.com is a website founded to provide Disney Cast Members and other theme park employees a place to vent about some of the idiots they’ve dealt with. Most Cast Members will tell you that 99% of the guests they deal with are wonderful, but there’s always that 1% that lead to aggravation — and some pretty funny stories.
Now that Uncle Walt’s Insider has completed its hostile takeover of Stupid Guest Tricks, we can bring you some of our favorite stories that have been collected there over the years. Previous installments: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. 12 & 13.
Part 14:
Maybe there’s a gondola now
Stupid Guest: “Where’s the monorail to Universal?”
Cast Member: “There isn’t one. You have to drive there. It’s not a Disney park.”
SG: “So there isn’t a monorail that goes there?”
CM: “None whatsoever, but I can give you directions if you’re driving.”
SG: “That’s terrible! They shouldn’t make you have to drive yourself to the park.”
CM: “Well, it’s a different company’s park. Would McDonald’s provide shuttle service to the nearest Burger King?”
SG: “I didn’t realize Disney was so against people going to the other parks.”
CM: “I’m not against it at all. Universal’s a lot of fun. I’ll even tell you how to get there, but there isn’t a monorail there.”
SG: “Well there should be!” (walks off in a huff)
– Monorail Black
Taking the park for a spin
SG: “Where is the exit to the park at?”
CM: “It’s down Main Street, just past the train station.”
SG: “No, I mean where is it now? When we came into the park we came in here to Tomorrowland.”
CM: “??? Um, sorry, no. It has always been in front of the train station.”
Here’s where it got odd.
SG: “Look, we all know the park is on a turntable! I want to know where the exit is at now.“
After several minutes of arguing the truth, I finally gave up.
CM: “I’m sorry, you’re right. The park does rotate. But right now, for the next 15 minutes, the exit is located on Main Street past the train station. So you’d better hurry!”
– SoarWhoreCoCo
Don’t get on Mickey’s bad side
My Mom worked for the Walt Disney Travel Co. One time she had a caller call up, frantic, to ask how much money was remaining on his bill for an upcoming trip to Walt Disney World. She brought up his account and told him the amount. Still frantic, he gave her his credit card number to pay off the entire amount.
As she was finishing the transaction, he explained that the night before he had dreamed that Mickey Mouse chased after him with a chainsaw because he hadn’t pay the rest of his bill!
– CerasiJ
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