True Tales of Stupid Guests: Episode 3 - Uncle Walt's Insider

True Tales of Stupid Guests: Episode 3

True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks.

“True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks” is an ongoing series, where we share believable stories of park guests’ unbelievable stupidity.

FROM STUPID GUEST TRICKS — is a website founded to provide Disney Cast Members and other theme park employees a place to vent about some of the idiots they’ve dealt with. Most Cast Members will tell you that 99% of the guests they deal with are wonderful, but there’s always that 1% that lead to aggravation — and some pretty funny stories.

Now that Uncle Walt’s Insider has completed its hostile takeover of Stupid Guest Tricks, we can bring you some of our favorite stories that have been collected there over the years. Previous installments: Part 1 & Part 2.

In Part 3, first a story from a College Program recruiter, then from Disneyland Paris:

What you wish you could say

I’m a campus rep to help recruit for Disney’s College Program. I’m wearing Mickey ears with a tassel and “College Program” painted on the ears… so naturally I get this question:

“So… have you done the college program?” 

I answered that I had and had just gotten home in May, but I really wanted to say, “No, I just like to stand around and look silly.” So then he asked:

“Okay, well… did you like it?”

It took quite a bit of effort not to answer, “No. I’m just here trying to ruin your life, too.”


This here’s the wildest ride in the… jungle?

At Disneyland Paris, I was working dispatch at Big Thunder Mountain. As per usual, I spent the load and unload time chatting with the guests grouped for row number 1 in the train.

I try to strike up a short conversation with two elderly ladies before they board the train, and it turned out they were from Spain. Since they didn’t speak French and very little English, and I don’t speak Spanish, the conversation was little more than “Hi!” and “Nervous?” Somewhat unusually for a couple of elderly ladies going on a roller coaster, they both replied with “No no, not nervous!” and happily boarded the train.

I sent the train on its adventurous way around the island, and since we were only running four trains that day the train arrived back on my side of the station again after the trip.

The ladies looked like they had been struck by lightning.

Both quite pale, and with facial expressions that defy all description, they exited the train on unstable legs and stood there for a few seconds to catch their breath again. When they regained their composure I had already sent the train away again and turned to them to make sure they were all right – one of them looked particularly affected by the experience.

They looked back at me with bewildered eyes and said something in Spanish that I did not understand. I asked, in English, if they were all right. Their response almost made me die of laughter.

“What kind of show was THAT?! We didn’t even see Tarzan!”

Apparently they thought they were at the Chaparral Theater and were going to see the Tarzan Encounter show.

– Ottar

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