“True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks” is an ongoing series, where we share believable stories of park guests’ unbelievable stupidity.
FROM STUPID GUEST TRICKS —
StupidGuestTricks.com is a website founded to provide Disney Cast Members and other theme park employees a place to vent about some of the idiots they’ve dealt with. Most Cast Members will tell you that 99% of the guests they deal with are wonderful, but there’s always that 1% that lead to aggravation — and some pretty funny stories.
Now that Uncle Walt’s Insider has completed its hostile takeover of Stupid Guest Tricks, we can bring you some of our favorite stories that have been collected there over the years. Previous installments: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. & 12.
There’s even more than two!
While positioned at the Caribbean Plaza in Magic Kingdom — pretty much halfway between the two nearest restrooms — a guest approached me:
Stupid Guest: “Where’s the bathroom?”
I criss-cross my arms and point in both directions.
SG: “You mean there’s more than one bathroom in this place?”
Right next to the submarine to SeaWorld
At the Magic Kingdom [Ed.: and long enough ago when Disney’s Hollywood Studios was known as Disney-MGM, obviously]:
SG: “Where is the train to MGM?”
CM: “Excuse me? Do you mean the bus?”
SG: “No, the train.”
CM: “Um, there is no train to MGM, sir. You have to take the monorail back to the TTC and then take the bus to MGM.”
SG: “No, that’s not right, I took the train to MGM last time I was here. Isn’t that the train to MGM (pointing to the Main Street Train Station)?”
CM: “No, sir, that train is just for the Magic Kingdom, and it makes stops in Frontierland and Mickey’s Toontown Fair.”
SG: “I’m sure that’s the train to MGM. Come on, kids!”
I wonder if he ever made it to MGM that day.
But wait — there’s more!
Cast Member Zazu saw the above story and commented, “I wonder if that was the family that rode my train in circles for nearly two hours before one of them asked how much longer before the train got to the Studios?”
CM: “This train doesn’t go to the Disney-MGM Studios. You have to take the monorail and a bus to get there.”
SG: “Not Disney Studios, how long til we get to Universal Studios?”
CM: “Oh, that’s a very long trip. You should get off here and buy a ticket on an overnight train with sleeping cars.”
Yes, I suppose I am evil, but at least it got them off my train!