“True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks” is an ongoing series, where we share believable stories of park guests’ unbelievable stupidity.
FROM STUPID GUEST TRICKS —
StupidGuestTricks.com is a website founded to provide Disney Cast Members and other theme park employees a place to vent about some of the idiots they’ve dealt with. Most Cast Members will tell you that 99% of the guests they deal with are wonderful, but there’s always that 1% that lead to aggravation — and some pretty funny stories.
Now that Uncle Walt’s Insider has completed its hostile takeover of Stupid Guest Tricks, we can bring you some of our favorite stories that have been collected there over the years. Previous installments: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, & 11.
I always forget to fasten my restraint there
Working at the Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular at the Studios, a guest approached me.
Stupid Guest: “Is this a ride?”
Cast Member: “Nope, this is a stunt show.”
SG: “But is it a ride?”
CM: “Ma’am, it’s not a ride. It’s a show.”
SG: (seems to get it) “Ohhh!!!”
She pauses for a moment.
SG: “Does it go upside down?”
CM: (finally fed up) “Yes, the show does go upside down.”
SG: (storming off) “This is Disney! They should have more rides for children!”
That’s in another park far, far away
I’m working the load area at Star Tours. There is currently a 70-minute standby time, which means this guest has been waiting in line for over an hour — to have this conversation:
SG: “Will this make me sick?”
CM: “Well, are you prone to motion sickness?”
SG: “A little.”
CM: “Then it is a possibility.”
SG: “If I throw up, do I have to clean it up?”
CM: “… It’s policy on Endor, you know.”
SG: “Wait… what ride is this?”
CM: “Star Tours…”
SG: “@#&$*! I thought this was Space Mountain!”
And with that, the SG and his family turn around and head back through the line towards the entrance! I hope he found Space Mountain in the Studios.
Make sure you know what kind of vacancy you’re filling
My mom used to work the phones at Walt Disney World reservations. On one of those “take your kid to work” days, this is one of the conversations I was able to listen in on:
CM: “Thank you for calling Walt Disney World reservations, this is L—-, how may I help you?”
SG: “Yeah, hi. Ummm, listen, I have no idea why my travel agent didn’t book me in this hotel, but I’d like to make a reservation at the ‘Tower of Terror.'”
CM: “I… beg your pardon? You want to stay where?”
SG: “THE TOWER OF TERROR, ARE YOU DEAF??”
CM: “… Sir, that’s a ride. It’s an attraction at one of the parks, it’s not really a hotel…”
SG: “THE SIGN SAYS IT’S A HOTEL! WHY WON’T YOU PEOPLE BOOK ME THERE?? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IT’S MY VACATION…”
After the guy ranted and raved for 15 minutes, refusing to believe Tower is an attraction, my mom said:
CM: “Fine. I will connect you to the Tower Hotel right now. Please hold.”
Mom looked at me, winked, and promptly hit the ‘Disconnect’ button.
Can’t wait for more? Visit StupidGuestTricks.com!