True Tales of Stupid Guests: Episode 6 - Uncle Walt's Insider

True Tales of Stupid Guests: Episode 6

True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks.

“True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks” is an ongoing series, where we share believable stories of park guests’ unbelievable stupidity.

FROM STUPID GUEST TRICKS — is a website founded to provide Disney Cast Members and other theme park employees a place to vent about some of the idiots they’ve dealt with. Most Cast Members will tell you that 99% of the guests they deal with are wonderful, but there’s always that 1% that lead to aggravation — and some pretty funny stories.

Now that Uncle Walt’s Insider has completed its hostile takeover of Stupid Guest Tricks, we can bring you some of our favorite stories that have been collected there over the years. Previous installments: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3Part 4 & Part 5.

In Part 6, a trio of idiocy from Disneyland and California Adventure:

It takes talent to cram so much wrong into one sentence

One time I was waiting in line for California Screamin’ [at California Adventure] when I heard a family in front of us discussing how they’d spend the rest of their day, when one member of the party (let’s assume it’s the mother) speaks up:

“Okay honey, you just take the kids to fairytale land (Fantasyland) in the kiddie park (Disneyland Park) and then fast track (FastPass) magic mountain (The Matterhorn? Which doesn’t even offer FastPass.)”

I’ve heard the occasional slip-up, but this is ridiculous. Best (worst?) of all, she said all this while holding a Disneyland Park guide map!


“Fantasmic!” It’s called “Fantasmic!” How hard is that, really?

One annoying thing about working around the Rivers of America at night on the weekend is guests coming up to you and asking you ‘What time is Fantasmic?’ every 5 minutes — yet guests almost never pronounce ‘Fantasmic’ correctly, but instead butcher the name into something completely different. Here are some of the many names I’ve heard guests call ‘Fantasmic!’:

  • Fantasia
  • Fantastic
  • Fantasm
  • Fantasmo
  • Fantasma
  • Fantragic
  • Orgasmic
  • Fantaza
  • Asstasmic
  • The Laser Show
  • The Water Parade

– Felix the Cat

Do all doors only work in one direction to this guy?

A fellow Cast Member in California Adventure told me this one. He was on his cart and a guest came up to him asking how to leave the park. So he gave him directions to the front of the park.

The guest shook his head and told him he was “looking for the exit.” Confused, my friend again relayed the directions to get to the front of the park.

The guest was now mad, and yelled at him saying he wanted directions to the exit of the park, not the entrance!

Oh goodness. I guess that guest will never get out of the park will they?

– Freak

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