“True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks” is an ongoing series, where we share believable stories of park guests’ unbelievable stupidity.
FROM STUPID GUEST TRICKS —
StupidGuestTricks.com was a website founded to provide Disney Cast Members and other theme park employees a place to vent about some of the idiots they’ve dealt with. Most Cast Members will tell you that 99% of the guests they deal with are wonderful, but there’s always that 1% that lead to aggravation — and some pretty funny stories.
Now that Uncle Walt’s Insider has completed its hostile takeover of Stupid Guest Tricks, we can bring you some of our favorite stories that have been collected there over the years.
And the children shall lead.
A Stupid Guest Trick at Islands of Adventure:
I’m running the Caro-Seuss-al when a man and his young son approach. The dad is the SG:
Stupid Guest: “Ooo! You have a cowfish and an elephant bird! Where is the Heffalump?”
Cast Member: “We don’t have one here. That’s Disney!”
SG: (leaning over to his kid) “Isn’t there supposed to be a Heffalump?”
Kid: (rolling his eyes) “No, Dad. That’s Disney.”
It’s a ride. No, it’s a show. No, its a ride.
At the entrance to Peter Pan’s Flight:
Stupid Guest: “When does the next show start?”
CM: “It’s actually a continuously moving ride, and our wait time is about 50 minutes.”
SG: “So it starts in 50 minutes?”
CM: “No, the wait to get onto this RIDE is 50 minutes.”
SG: “Can I get in line now?”
CM: “Of course you can.”
The SG enters the queue, but comes back less than two minutes later.
SG: “I think I will come back in 50 minutes when the show starts.”
CM: “This isn’t a show ma’am, this is a ride. The wait will still be 50 minutes when you come back, since the RIDE is continuously moving.”
SG: “But you said it was 50 minutes until the show.”
CM: “No, I said it was a 50 minute wait (now I just decide to use her vocabulary) to get to the start of the show. Shows are continuously running every couple of seconds.”
SG: “What kind of a show starts every couple of seconds? This sounds like a ride!”
Not sure who he is, but he’s my favorite!
I’m working with Pluto in Tomorrowland. It is time for a switch out and I have just announced that Pluto will be right back. As we are walking away, a man comes up and grabs my arm.
SG: “Is he leaving? He can’t leave. My son HAS to see him – he is his favorite.”
CM: “Sir, we are just…”
SG: “No, none of your excuses. Get him back here right now. We came all this way for my son to see his favorite character and you’re not going to stop him.”
CM: (still trying to explain that we will be right back) “Sir, we are just going…”
SG: “You aren’t going anywhere! I told you – my son wants to see Goofy and see Goofy is what he is going to do!”
CM: “In that case, sir. May I suggest you head back up Main Street to Town Square.”
SG: “Why would I want to do that?”
CM: “Because that is where Goofy is hanging out today. This is Pluto.”