Page 7 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Don't believe anything until you read it in Uncle Walt's Insider! Artists concept of fake Texas park © Universal.

Don’t believe it: a Universal theme park is NOT coming to Texas

Seriously, are you all going to fall for this hoax again? FRISCO, TX -- Despite the news stories (so. many. news. stories), Uncle Walt's Insider can confidently report that a Universal Studios theme park is NOT being built in Texas. We at Uncle Walt's have numerous amazing inside sources in all the theme park and entertainment companies, and not one of them has given us this scoop.  Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, you're our kind of reader We contacted our favorite ... Read more
No one at Disneyl... Hang on, we publish this at 6 am Pacific Time, well before the park opens. And why would there be sunlight? Photo via Twitter.

Iger: Cast Members must return to office; #outwithiger trends on Twitter

Ride operators at the parks will finally be on-site again instead of pushing buttons from home! BR'ER BANK, CA -- Newly reinstated Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Iger has told employees that the days of working from home are coming to an end. Effective March 1, 2023, Disney employees will be required to work in person at least four days per week, including at the many Disney theme parks around the globe. And Cast Members are not happy with the order! Uncle Walt's Insider ... Read more
Possible Disney CEO "Rob" Chapek.

Short list of Disney CEO candidates released

This "Rob" Chapek guy (pictured) looks kind of familiar. BR'ER BANK, CA - After Robert "Bob" Iger "reluctantly" seized the reins of the Disney Company last month from Bob "Bob" Chapek, fans and shareholders alike wondered if Iger's return was only temporary or if he would be CEO-for-life, as previously reported by Uncle Walt's Insider. Some more permanent CEO replacements for Iger have already been rumored, such as Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffen and Elon Musk. We at Uncle Walt's feel that ... Read more
Maybe they'll call it "Monstro's Whale Tail" for a while. Photo © Disney, Carnival Corp., maybe.

Carnival Corporation buys Disney Cruise Line

We can't wait for Goofy's Belly Flop Contest. DORAL, FL -- In a surprising move, returning Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Iger has agreed to unload Disney Cruise Line, selling its ships, branding, and assets to cruise mega-corporation Carnival. Disney Cruise Line will become another of Carnival Corporation's current stable of 27 cruise brands, which already include Carnival, Princess, Holland America, Seabourn, P&O, Costa, Six Flags, SpaceX, Cedar Fair, and Kroger. Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that, at least for now, the former Disney ... Read more

BREAKING: Bob Chapek in as new Twitter CEO

Well, he was available. SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- As promised, "Chief Twit" Elon Musk has honored the results of a poll of Twitter users and is stepping down as CEO of the social media company. And in confirming his departure, Musk also announced that recently-deposed Disney executive Bob "Bob" Chapek will be taking his place. "I was looking for someone who would continue to annoy both employees and customers," Musk explained, "and Chapek certainly has a strong history of doing just that." As his ... Read more