Page 7 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Realistic crash test dummies, reportedly all with GPP (Genuine People Personalities). Photo credits: via

Disney testing new lifelike crash test dummies in Tomorrowland

"Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!" BAY LAKE, FLORIDA -- On Monday, the Disney blogosphere went into overdrive after supposedly spotting a top secret preview of the new Tron Lightcycle Run attraction at Disney's Magic Kingdom.  However, Uncle Walt's Insider can confirm it was not a preview. Instead, Disney is testing out new top secret ride test dummies that are apparently incredibly lifelike. We got a text from our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson, Jun Disney (no relation), who said, "Ignore what you ... Read more
We're offering a bounty on any photos of Mickey with George Soros. Photo via Reuters & WDWMagic.

Mickey Mouse spotted at the WEF in Davos

We're not sure what it means, but it can't be great. DAVOS, SWITZERLAND -- Photographs surfaced yesterday showing clearly that Disney head cheese Mickey Mouse was among the attendees at the World Economic Forum in Davos. Rumors have abounded for years that Mickey has ties to clandestine organizations such as the W.E.F, the W.W.F., the W.W.E., the New World Order, the Trilateral Commission, the Freemasons, The Pentavirate, and Meals on Wheels, but these photographs are the first documented proof. (Uncle Walt's Insider ... Read more
UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Should Cynthia be the next Disney CEO?

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Disneyland, Disney, would be better off hiring somebody like me Who, knows Disneyland for 40 years, who has marketing education and experience, and the biggest plus, knows what the people are wanting from Disney Making it a family friendly Disneyland again So many ... Read more
Don't believe anything until you read it in Uncle Walt's Insider! Artists concept of fake Texas park © Universal.

Don’t believe it: a Universal theme park is NOT coming to Texas

Seriously, are you all going to fall for this hoax again? FRISCO, TX -- Despite the news stories (so. many. news. stories), Uncle Walt's Insider can confidently report that a Universal Studios theme park is NOT being built in Texas. We at Uncle Walt's have numerous amazing inside sources in all the theme park and entertainment companies, and not one of them has given us this scoop.  Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, you're our kind of reader We contacted our favorite ... Read more
No one at Disneyl... Hang on, we publish this at 6 am Pacific Time, well before the park opens. And why would there be sunlight? Photo via Twitter.

Iger: Cast Members must return to office; #outwithiger trends on Twitter

Ride operators at the parks will finally be on-site again instead of pushing buttons from home! BR'ER BANK, CA -- Newly reinstated Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Iger has told employees that the days of working from home are coming to an end. Effective March 1, 2023, Disney employees will be required to work in person at least four days per week, including at the many Disney theme parks around the globe. And Cast Members are not happy with the order! Uncle Walt's Insider ... Read more