Page 7 – Uncle Walt's Insider
For these riders, it truly was a once-in-a-lifetime experience! Photo © Disney via Tron Wiki.

Tron Lightcycle Run “derezzes” guests; opening delayed

We'll miss them. Some of them. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- Guests visiting the Shanghai Disney Resort, Spa, and Re-education Center have enjoyed the Tron Lightcycle Run attraction for decades [Ed.: decades?]. And while it may seem "old and busted" in Shanghai, it is the "new hotness" at the Magic Kingdom, which of course is in the heart of Florida at the newly re-dedicated Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, and De-programming center. However, the opening of the attraction has been delayed, due to ...
February 16, 2023 by Marty in Florida
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UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Should computer A.I.’s write all of our articles?

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Was the article you published last Thursday ("Yes, Virginia, There is a Disneyland in Texas") really written by artificial intelligence? If so, will you start letting the A.I. write all your stuff from now on? It was pretty good." - ...
February 6, 2023 by Marty in step-planDisney
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We also let an AI, Midjourney, handle the cover photo. We hardly even had to show up to publish this! Photo by Midjourney.

“Yes, Virginia, There is a Disneyland in Texas”

You ask. We answer let an AI answer. From our inbox: "I read your article from 10/2020 that Disney broke ground on land for a new theme park in Texas, but a previous article you did mentions it rumored to be moving to Oklahoma. Is there really a Disney theme park coming to Texas? If so is it northern TX? Do they have a tentative opening date?" -Suzette  "Yes, Suzette Virginia, There is a Disneyland in Texas" It is almost impossible to believe that there ...
February 2, 2023 by Marty in World
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Realistic crash test dummies, reportedly all with GPP (Genuine People Personalities). Photo credits: wdwmagic.com via interpark.co.uk.

Disney testing new lifelike crash test dummies in Tomorrowland

"Your plastic pal who's fun to be with!" BAY LAKE, FLORIDA -- On Monday, the Disney blogosphere went into overdrive after supposedly spotting a top secret preview of the new Tron Lightcycle Run attraction at Disney's Magic Kingdom.  However, Uncle Walt's Insider can confirm it was not a preview. Instead, Disney is testing out new top secret ride test dummies that are apparently incredibly lifelike. We got a text from our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson, Jun Disney (no relation), who said, "Ignore what you ...
January 30, 2023 by X in Florida
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We're offering a bounty on any photos of Mickey with George Soros. Photo via Reuters & WDWMagic.

Mickey Mouse spotted at the WEF in Davos

We're not sure what it means, but it can't be great. DAVOS, SWITZERLAND -- Photographs surfaced yesterday showing clearly that Disney head cheese Mickey Mouse was among the attendees at the World Economic Forum in Davos. Rumors have abounded for years that Mickey has ties to clandestine organizations such as the W.E.F, the W.W.F., the W.W.E., the New World Order, the Trilateral Commission, the Freemasons, The Pentavirate, and Meals on Wheels, but these photographs are the first documented proof. (Uncle Walt's Insider ...
January 27, 2023 by Marty in World
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