Page 7 – Uncle Walt's Insider
We're scared of what the Ghost of Disney Future will show.

Chapek haunted by Ghost of Disney Past

Apparently Walt isn't happy. BURBANK, CA -- Sources within the Disney Company say that CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is being visited by the Ghost of Disney Past. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) confirmed the haunting, but said it is no big deal. "The ghost first showed up when Chapek started charging for things that used to be free for guests," Disney (no relation) told Uncle Walt's Insider. "That was unsettling, sure, but Bob's pretty used to the visits by now." "You learn ... Read more
Vandals paint Cinderella Castle a hideous pink color. Photo by Laughing Place via Twitter.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World to leave Florida

Rumor is they're heading for New York City, where they can say "gay." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida. "It's obvious that our values don't align with those of the state any more," said CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. "I mean, they have a law now that says teachers can't discuss sexuality with 5- to 8-year-olds without parental consent! Who wants ... Read more
Guests tiptoeing through the tulips, as part of really long Stand-By queues. Photo by Uncle Walt, used without permission.

Excessive stand-by lines force guests into the foliage

Pictured above: guests in the foliage. DISNEY'S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS, FL -- During a recent visit to the Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Savings Vacuum, our own Uncle Walt experienced incredibly long attraction Stand-By queues -- so long that the lines stretched off the paths and into the landscaping! Because of the recent cash-grab scam [Ed.: Well, one of them] perpetrated by Bob "Bob" Chapek, Lightning Lane, guests at the Disney Parks, Resorts, Spa & Labor Camp have encountered even longer ... Read more

19 little-known facts about Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser

Our little-known facts series continues, in spite of underwhelming demand! It's a hotel! It's a spaceship! It's a hotel! No, it's a spaceship! Settle down, there's no need to argue. It's a hotel and a (pretend) spaceship! And whatever you think of Walt Disney World's new Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser, we can all agree on one thing: it's ing expensive. But do you know everything there is to know about this "space cruise" experience? We at Uncle Walt's Insider do, of course! So read on ... Read more
The five second rule does NOT apply to churros! Photo composite by Marty, as is the "comment below" question.

Man throws away entire churro at Animal Kingdom; riot breaks out

Rest in peace, poor churro, we hardly knew ye. HARAMBE, FL -- A riot broke out in the Africa section of Disney's Animal Kingdom after a man was spotted throwing away an entire churro. Our very own Uncle Walt witnessed this atrocity first hand. "I was taking note of a bit of paint chipped off the top of one of the buildings so I could file a complaint with Guest Relations about the state of the park," Uncle Walt told himself so ... Read more