We can't wait for Goofy's Belly Flop Contest.
DORAL, FL -- In a surprising move, returning Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Iger has agreed to unload Disney Cruise Line, selling its ships, branding, and assets to cruise mega-corporation Carnival. Disney Cruise Line will become another of Carnival Corporation's current stable of 27 cruise brands, which already include Carnival, Princess, Holland America, Seabourn, P&O, Costa, Six Flags, SpaceX, Cedar Fair, and Kroger.
Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that, at least for now, the former Disney ...
Well, he was available.
SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- As promised, "Chief Twit" Elon Musk has honored the results of a poll of Twitter users and is stepping down as CEO of the social media company. And in confirming his departure, Musk also announced that recently-deposed Disney executive Bob "Bob" Chapek will be taking his place.
"I was looking for someone who would continue to annoy both employees and customers," Musk explained, "and Chapek certainly has a strong history of doing just that."
As his ...
Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
"Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: I think anyone from Uncle Walt's Insider would do a great job running Disney. Are any of you planning to apply to be CEO?" - Balbina Kumar, London, UK
Hello Balbina. No. Despite the exorbitant salary, I have no interest in ...
Apparently Chapek didn't go far enough?
BURBANK, CA -- As we predicted, Bob "Bob" Iger has returned as CEO of the Disney Company. In his first week, Iger announced he will reverse all of the poor decisions he blamed on Bob "Bob" Chapek, returning Disney to its full glory.
With our incredible inside contacts and sources [Ed.: Wait, Google counts as an inside source?], Uncle Walt's Insider is able to give you a first look at the list of decision changes. They ...