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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: What are your favorite movies?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: What are your favorite movies? Most Sincerely Yours," Elmo - Edina, MN Marty: Hi, Edina! We're honored that such a talented singer and actress is a fan of Uncle Walt's Insider! But please, do not sing Let It Go. You'll just ... Read more
President* Biden's animatronic in the Hall of President*s is already malfunctioning. Or is it? Photo by Kjersti Holmang [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikipedia.

Report: Biden animatronic figure already malfunctioning

It's only recently been installed, but it seems to have the same glitches as on the campaign trail. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Magic Kingdom Park's Hall of Presidents attraction is reportedly closed after the animatronic figure of President* Joe Biden began malfunctioning, less than ten days after it was installed. Reports from insiders say that the figure would randomly say things not in the script, like "salute the Marines" and "I don't know what I'm signing." And recently, the figure announced it ... Read more
Pretty much the same park, except for the added firepower. Photo lifted from Twitter: @fakethemepark.

Fake Theme Park possibly moving to Texas

Sure, the picture looks the same, but you can tell it's in Texas from all the concealed-carry bulges. TWITTER -- As predicted by absolutely nobody, Fake Theme Park has joined the growing list of entities that have announced they are moving to Texas. In a now-deleted tweet, the popular theme park announced that they would be relocating from their current home in **FILLER TEXT** [Ed.: Be sure to find out where they're located before we publish this!] to a swampy inlet not far from ... Read more
At least no one ever dies inside a Disney park, right? Photo by deror_avi [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

Covid-19 ward opening at Disneyland’s Tom Sawyer Island

It's being temporarily renamed "Pirate's Covid at Tom Sawyer Island" ANAHEIM, CA -- Stymied in their efforts to open their theme parks, Disney has joined the fight against Covid-19. The Disney Company announced today that Tom Sawyer Island at the Disneyland Park will become a Covid-19 ward. Disney has already outfitted the island with the necessary medical equipment and trained Cast Members to handle Covid-19 patients. They won't put patients in Dead Man's Grotto, will they?  A temporary bridge is being constructed to get ... Read more
He looks almost lifelike.

Joe Biden animatronic already installed in Hall of Presidents; “We made it months ago”

Oddly, it arrived back from the DNC in a box labeled "John Gill." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Hall of Presidents at Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom already has a new occupant. President* Joe Biden's animatronic was installed within minutes of his swearing-in. Normally the process of creating and installing a new presidential animatronic takes months after a change in administration. But this time, Disney was prepared. "Not a lot of wear" "We've actually had the audio-animatronic built for months," says Disney (the company) ... Read more