Page 11 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Our AI's Round 3 email arrived this morning! Photo © Disney, used with permission, maybe.

Computer A.I. advances to Round 3 of planDisney panel search

If it makes it, this will be the first computer-generated personality to make it onto the panel -- that we know of. LONGYEARBYEN, SVALBARD -- The search is on for new members for the planDisney trip advice panel!* Tens of thousands of applicants have already been eliminated, and the remaining few are keeping their fingers crossed. But one potential panelist has no fingers to cross. That's because the applicant, "John Q. Disneyfan of St. Louis, Missouri," is not a person, but an ...
October 27, 2022 by Marty in Other, step-planDisney
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We're really not accusing anyone. At least, not in any legally-actionable way.

UWI Story Idea Vault breached; investigation ongoing

That cover photo is just a placeholder. No accusations are being made. Yet. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Uncle Walt's Insider today announced (by this article, in fact) that they are investigating a breach into their Vault of Story Ideas (known also as the Story Idea Vault, or the Idea Vault of Stories). The U.W.I. Story Idea Vault (see previous paragraph) is kept under lock and key inside the renowned Svalbard Global Seed Vault, known for its ultra-tight security.* "We're not sure who ...
October 20, 2022 by Marty in Other
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Citing “too many poor people here,” Disney raises prices… again

Also, the unnamed executive's ringtone was a "cha-ching" sound, over and over again. BURBANK, CA -- On a recent visit to Disneyland, an unidentified Disney executive (pictured) was overheard saying that there are "too many poor people here." The unnamed executive suggested that Disneyland should be like a country club: overpriced, exclusive, and offer mediocre experiences at a premium price. So, as you might expect, we at Uncle Walt's Insider predict more price increases coming to Disney parks. (We also have successfully predicted ...
October 14, 2022 by Walt in California, Florida
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The detached head of Figment, now on sale at Mouse Gear, er, the Creations Shop. Photo courtesy viajandoparaorlando.com.

Bob Chapek beheads Figment in a fit of rage

Then they attached a strap and sold it in the Creations Shop! EPCOT, FL -- Tragedy has struck in the midst of the 40th anniversary celebration of EPCOT Centre. During a show celebrating all things Epcot, Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek reportedly became angry as Walt Disney's name was mentioned over and over, while no one acknowledged Chapek's contributions to the park. (Those "contributions" include scaled back offerings, price increases, and overall lowering the value of park admission.) Shockingly, when Chapek's anger reached ...
October 7, 2022 by Walt in Florida
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UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: No membership stuff from D23; who do I call?

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: I joined D23 but have not received anything. Who do you suggest I contact for a real answer??" - Melanie Campbell, Kansas City, MO Walt: Hi Mel, thanks for asking. D23? Not familiar with that, I’ll have to look into it.  Marty: Hello, Belle! ...
October 4, 2022 by Marty in step-planDisney
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