Florida Archives - Page 31 of 114 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Downtown OWA in Foley, AL, which looks exactly like Disney Springs if you've been up for 48 hours. And squint. Photo by Walt, used without permission but with some snark.

CORRECTION: Disney Springs is open, people are actually going

Hey, we get some things right, occasionally. DISNEY SPRINGS, FL -- Uncle Walt's Insider previously reported that no one is going Disney Springs in spite of it being open for business. It turns out that might have not been 100% correct. Or 50% correct. Or at all correct. It was a big misunderstanding. Our own Uncle Walt drove to Orlando for over 48 hours straight (the drive from Svalbard is pretty long) and thought he had arrived. In his sleep-deprived state, he thought that ...
June 13, 2020 by Walt in Florida
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Ghost town? I think not. It doesn't even have real ghosts, like the Haunted Mansion, or Turtle Talk with Crush. Photo by Uncle Walt, used without permission.

“Open” Disney Springs a ghost town; no one is there

Serious. Like, nobody. Cast members, shoppers, looters. We weren't even there. DISNEY SPRINGS, FL -- Disney Springs announced their reopening in May, and the Internet nearly shutdown in excitement. Most assumed that the Walt Disney World shopping district (so called because you can't buy stuff anywhere else on WDW property) would be packed. Well, May 20th has come and gone, and despite initial reports from fake news sites (such as WDWNTT), no one is actually going to Disney Springs. It is empty. There ...
June 12, 2020 by Walt in Florida
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Non-socially distanced villains at Walt Disney World. Photo by Leigh Caldwell [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Confirmed: Disney villains will not wear masks

Why? Because they're "eeeevil." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- When Walt Disney World fully reopens in July of 2025, a number of virus-prevention requirements will be in place. But not for everyone. Disney villains will not be required to wear masks, or practice social distancing. Realism "Our goal, as always, is realistic storytelling," explains Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "When we saw all of the health officials telling everyone to wear a mask for the well-being of others, we thought, huh... What if ...
June 9, 2020 by Marty in Florida
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I'll never let go, Jack. Er, I mean Mickey. Photo [CC0] via Pxfuel & clipart-library.

Disney Magic to be sunk, turned into artificial reef

Why don't they ever sink ships to create natural reefs? PORT CANAVERAL, FL -- The Disney Magic is the latest victim of the Covid-19 shutdown. Disney Cruise Line announced today that the Magic, the first cruise ship in the Disney fleet, will be sunk and turned into an artificial reef. With the high cost of maintaining the ship during the cruise industry shutdown, the write-off will help boost Disney's bottom line. I own a share of Disney. Why don't I get these calls? Robert "Bob" Chapek, CEO, and ...
June 2, 2020 by Walt in Florida, Other
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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: WDW without Fastpasses or dining reservations?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: So now we know when Walt Disney World is reopening. But I also understand that all Fastpasses and dining reservations have been cancelled. How's it all going to work now?" - Sandra P., Bangalore, India Harriet: Just don't go to Walt ...
June 1, 2020 by Marty in Florida, step-planDisney
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