satire Archives - Page 166 of 209 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Closed for the holiday.

Uncle Walt’s closed for job interviews

Sure, normally we'd be shutting down for New Year's Day. But after our Uncle Walt fired everyone for slacking off on Christmas Day, we need some talented reporters in here pretty quickly. And apparently there wasn't as much of a backlog of pre-written articles as Walt thought. It turns out it's hard to get talented reporters to move to Svalbard, and this job only pays in churros. [Ed.: We can even pay in cream cheese pretzels bagels on request.] Plus (as you can ...
January 1, 2019 by Marty in Other
Read more
UncleWalts.com 2018 Year in Review

2018 – An Uncle Walt’s Insider Year in Review

You get a list of our top articles, and we get to knock out an easy filler article. Win-win! UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- It is that time of the year, where we wonder why we took all of the time to put up all of these lights and decorations only to take them down a month later. It is also the time when all of the various media outlets do those annoying countdowns from things that happened throughout the year. ...
December 31, 2018 by Walt in California, Florida, Other, Spotlight, World, WWWD
Read more
A random building at Disneyland. Photo by Carterhawk [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia Commons.

The 12 best amusement parks in Southern California, 2019 edition

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Okay, yeah, just yesterday we were berating a certain newspaper for making a "best of" list that was actually just a list of everything. "We have integrity!" we cried out. "We would never do such a thing!" we said. But then we also cried out, "We have deadlines! We have one more article to write! We have parties to get to!" [Ed.: Christmas and New Years parties in Svalbard are off ...
December 29, 2018 by Marty in California
Read more
Definitely not the logo of USA Today.

The 11 Best Amusement Parks in Florida?

Journalism: apparently we're doing it wrong. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Recently, the loyal, hardworking writers of your favorite Disney website [Ed.: Us, right?] were in the newsroom, searching for inspiration. And by "searching for inspiration," we mean looking at competitors' websites for stuff we can rip off. And we came across an article published by a certain newspaper, entitled "The 11 best amusement parks in Florida, 2019 edition." Now, we're not going to name names, but this USA-based paper claims TO have ...
December 28, 2018 by X in Florida, Other
Read more
A Space Mountain space mountain. Photo courtesy NASA/Goddard/University of Arizona.

Probe encounters Space Mountain lookalike on asteroid

Did Disney accurately predict mountains in space? GREENBELT, MD -- Images from NASA's OSIRIS-REx space probe show an eerily familiar formation in deep space. There is a mountain in space that looks like Space Mountain, on an asteroid located 1.4 million miles from Walt Disney World Resort and Spa! Scientists from the Goddard Space Flight Center who are monitoring the probe's progress are baffled. Tomorrowland accurate? Disneyland included a Tomorrowland area from its opening. The land was intended to be a "step into the future," ...
December 27, 2018 by Marty in Other
Read more