Uncle Walt's closed for job interviews |

Uncle Walt’s closed for job interviews

Closed for the holiday.

Sure, normally we’d be shutting down for New Year’s Day. But after our Uncle Walt fired everyone for slacking off on Christmas Day, we need some talented reporters in here pretty quickly. And apparently there wasn’t as much of a backlog of pre-written articles as Walt thought.

It turns out it’s hard to get talented reporters to move to Svalbard, and this job only pays in churros. [Ed.: We can even pay in cream cheese pretzels bagels on request.] Plus (as you can tell by the by-line at the bottom of the article), Walt didn’t exactly figure out how to lock us out of our UWI accounts. We suspect we’ll all be rehired shortly.

Happy New Year, everybody!

Uncle Walt’s will return tomorrow with the latest and greatest in super-reliable theme park news.

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