satire Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
The change will, of course, come with a price increase. Photo by Coolcaesar [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia.

Disney hires Pepsi CFO; menu changes coming soon?

Will Disney replace the current overpriced sugar water with worse overpriced sugar water? BURBANK, CA -- In a recent corporate shuffle, the Walt Disney Company welcomed Hugh Johnston, the former CFO of PepsiCo, as their new Chief Financial Officer. While the financial world buzzes with this significant appointment, whispers suggest that there might be a subtle yet significant change brewing within Disney's iconic parks. The relationship between Disney and Coca-Cola has been as enduring as a timeless fairy tale, interwoven in the fabric ...
November 16, 2023 by X in Other
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It was Little Buford, wasn't it? We bet it was Little Buford. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Country Bear escapes, terrorizes Magic Kingdom guests

The Jamboree will be closed for the near future as the bear restraints are inspected and upgraded. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Magic Kingdom's beloved Country Bear Jamboree will be closed after one of the bears got loose, frightening guests and causing much of the park to close for several hours on Monday. The Jamboree, a musical revue featuring singing and instrument-playing by live bears (and which recently added an adults-only nighttime show), has often come under criticism. Animal rights activists protest ...
September 19, 2023 by Marty in Florida
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The new Test Track 3.0 - once they remove the tree. Photo credit BlogMickey.com.

D23 announcement: reimagined Test Track 3.0 to be nothing at all

Guests spoke: "Nothing would be better than this" -- and Imagineers listened! ANAHEIM, CA -- Disney Parks and Resorts has made some BIG announcements at the D23 Expo - and Uncle Walt's Insider was NOT there to hear them! One huge bit of news has set the Internet ablaze: E.P.C.O.T. Center's Test Track, the Chevrolet sponsored car-themed ride, will soon be reimagined. Or re-reimagined. And the new theme has guests going crazy! The new overlay? Nothing. Guests will simply ride along the ...
September 13, 2023 by Walt in Florida
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UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Our opinion on the coming Oklahoma theme park

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: What do you think of the new theme park coming to Oklahoma?” – Chris T., Disney OK Marty: Dear Crisp, thank you for writing. It's good that you have a job where your official duties are so miniscule that they give you ...
August 5, 2023 by Marty in step-planDisney
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The renamed & relocated Disneyland Escanaba. Photo courtesy American Heartland Theme Park and Resort (and Spa?).

Disneyland Escanaba sold to investors, moving to Oklahoma

Fire sale at the Disney Company! VINITA, OK -- Sources say Disney CEO Bob 'Bob' Iger, eager to raise capital for the struggling entertainment company, is quietly selling off pieces of the company. Money-losing parts of the company such as ABC, Freeform, FX, and Kathleen Kennedy are up for sale. And the latest piece of the company to go? Michigan's Disneyland Escanaba. Goodbye Yoopers The park, located (some say) in the Upper Peninsula of the state of Michigan, is most famous for three things: ...
July 22, 2023 by Marty in World
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