Florida Archives - Page 8 of 115 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Would you climb into this van to go meet Mickey? Photo by ITM via Flickr & Reddit.

Disney up-close character meets resume – through a sketchy van

Of course you can still trust Disney with your kids! REEDY CREEK ORANGE & OSCEOLA COUNTIES, FL -- Good news for all of you Disney character lovers -- in-person meet-and-greets are back! Guests at the Walt Disney World and Disneyland Resorts, Spas, and LGBTetc. Awareness Centers will no longer have to be content with Mickey and Minnie waving at them from a balcony. Now your kids can meet all of those trustworthy Cast Members-in-costume up close and intimately! A bit different than it was Uncle ...
May 2, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida
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This official Disney photo sure does leave out a lot of races, ethnicities, and genders. Be better, Disney, be better! Photo by The Walt Disney Company.

New Magic Kingdom stage show: “Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay”

Chapek: "I wrote the script myself." REEDY CREEK, FL -- There's a new stage show coming soon to the Walt Disney World Resort & Spa & Alternative Lifestyle Exploration Center! In a new bid to drive the Disney Company into the ground and keep California's lights on, the Forecourt Stage at Cornelius (formerly Cinderella) Castle (she's a dude now) will host a cavalcade of Disney characters dressed in rainbow colors, all chanting and singing nothing but the word "gay" for 25 minutes! "Don't ...
April 22, 2022 by Marty in Florida
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With a sign like this, at least it's not likely to be mistaken for the original show. Photo by Matt Dempsey [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr, clipart.me, & Wikipedia Commons.

Country Bear Jamboree re-themed as San Francisco Bear Jamboree

Oh, there will still be "bears." MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Center for Societal Change has announced a new project, sure to excite parents of all genders! Disney is continuing its current project (called "Woke Kingdom," according to insiders) by re-theming the beloved attraction Country Bear Jamboree. We caught up with Disney (the company) spokesbeing Jun Disney (no relation) to find out more. "This is just one more step in solving all of the world's problems! ...
April 16, 2022 by Walt in Florida
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Vandals paint Cinderella Castle a hideous pink color. Photo by Laughing Place via Twitter.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World to leave Florida

Rumor is they're heading for New York City, where they can say "gay." WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Alternative Lifestyle Grooming Center announced today that it is packing up and moving out of Florida. "It's obvious that our values don't align with those of the state any more," said CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek. "I mean, they have a law now that says teachers can't discuss sexuality with 5- to 8-year-olds without parental consent! Who wants ...
April 6, 2022 by Marty in California, Florida
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Guests tiptoeing through the tulips, as part of really long Stand-By queues. Photo by Uncle Walt, used without permission.

Excessive stand-by lines force guests into the foliage

Pictured above: guests in the foliage. DISNEY'S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS, FL -- During a recent visit to the Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Savings Vacuum, our own Uncle Walt experienced incredibly long attraction Stand-By queues -- so long that the lines stretched off the paths and into the landscaping! Because of the recent cash-grab scam [Ed.: Well, one of them] perpetrated by Bob "Bob" Chapek, Lightning Lane, guests at the Disney Parks, Resorts, Spa & Labor Camp have encountered even longer ...
April 2, 2022 by Walt in Florida
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