Rumor Archives - Page 22 of 90 - Uncle Walt's Insider
A few of the non-Disney gondolas. Photo by DisneyTouristBlog.com, used by permission, modified.

To prevent virus, Skyliner cars will be hermetically sealed

Officials were inspired by the new Disneyland masks. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Biological Warfare Factory has had its share of odd rules over the last year. To combat the pandemic, park officials have required guests to fully immerse themselves in hand sanitizer, prohibited wearing gators (presumably just on the face), and have enforced social distancing on it's a small world dolls. But the latest step may be the oddest yet. "We're completely sealing the ...
March 21, 2021 by Marty in Florida
Read more
You can save lots of $$ if you don't go here! Photo [CC0] via Wikimedia.

What to expect when Disneyland reopens

Here's all you need to know about the return to Walt's original park! ANAHEIM, CA -- Thanks to fake Biden's executive order and impenetrable mask breakthroughs, Disneyland may actually reopen soon! So we thought we'd share with you what to expect when you return to Disneyland. Buckle in, and away we go! Stale churros We hate to show any disrespect to Nature's Most Perfect Snack®, but that last batch of churros was made over a year ago. Expect them to be... well, let's just ...
March 15, 2021 by Marty in California
Read more
The new plaque honoring former Disney CEO John Isner. Engraving by Tatiana [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Michael Eisn… no, John Isner named a Disney Legend?

New plaques have been added to Legends Plaza BURBANK, PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF CALIFORNIA -- The Walt Disney Company has added plaques for the most recent class of Disney Legends to the pillars in Legends Plaza! On a recent walk through the plaza, our intrepid reporter noticed newly installed tributes to Christina Aguilera, Wing Chao, Robert Downey Jr., James Earl Jones, Jon Favreau, Bette Midler, Kenny Ortega, Barnette Ricci, Robin Roberts, Diane Sawyer, Ming-Na Wen, Hans Zimmer, and... tennis player John Isner? The Disney ...
March 9, 2021 by X in Other
Read more
Disney's "Harmonious" weather-control devices. Photo courtesy of DisneyTouristBlog.com, used by permission.

Disney moves weather control machines into World Showcase Lagoon

Finally, proof of the long-rumored Disney weather technology. E.P.C.O.T. CENTRE, FL -- As Disney struggles with the dome over Walt Disney World, they have made the bold move to bring the machines they use to control the weather into full view of guests. The devices were originally thought to be part of a new nighttime spectacular rumored to debut at EPCOT [Ed.: Can't believe fireworks were cancelled under this woke culture]. But Uncle Walt's Insider can now confirm that the new structures in ...
March 3, 2021 by Walt in Florida
Read more
"Father," in the middle of a racist and homophobic rant, probably. Photo by SteamFan [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

Another attraction gets woke – meet the new “Carousel of Progressives”

Welcome guest contributor Vier Eiken to Uncle Walt's Insider! No, he's not getting paid. BAY LAKE, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, Jello Factory, and Dog Track announced today that, in keeping with its commitment to inclusion and tolerance, the "Carousel of Progress" will be reimagined. The newly updated attraction will reopen in May after extensive changes. We reached out to Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), who was able to confirm the upcoming changes. While full details were ...
February 19, 2021 by Unpaid Intern in Florida
Read more