Uncle Walt's Insider Rumor Archives - Page 40 of 89

The elusive Disney social distancing sticker. Photo by Jukeboxprint.com, modified.

Disneyland delays reopening due to shortage of social distancing stickers

"Without these stickers strategically placed on the ground, how will guests know when they are at least 6 feet apart!?!?" ANAHEIM, CA -- Disney will delay the re-opening of Disneyland -- but only due to the lack of social distancing stickers. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) stated, "We were all set to re-open Disneyland. We have stockpiled enough hand sanitizer to flood a small town (in addition to the walk-through vats), there are hand washing stations setup every 15 ...

Remember, it all started with a mouse. Photo by Olivier Bruchez [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Antifa pulls down statue of “historic oppressor” Mickey Mouse

Where will it end? DISNEYLAND, CA -- Chanting "Hey, ho, the mouse must go," protesters toppled the Mickey Mouse portion of the famed Partners Statue at Disneyland yesterday. A spokesperson for the protesters, Jun "Auntie" Fa (no relation), read a statement to Uncle Walt's Insider. We'd give you the whole thing here, but it was riddled with grammatical errors and poor reasoning, and we're not WDWNTT. Basically, it denounced "almost 100 years" of "rodent-based capitalistic terrorism" on the "poor downtrodden park-goers of the ...

June 26, 2020 by Marty in California

(Step)Moms Panel: Can anyone anywhere in Orlando use Minnie Vans? How?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: You ran an article last week saying Minnie Vans would now go to Universal Studios. (At least, I think that's what it said.) How will that work exactly? Will I be able to call a Minnie Van from anywhere ...

June 25, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney

If you're looking at this article on your phone, you know what the concerts will be like this year! Photo courtesy DisneyTouristBlog, used by permission.

Epcot “Eat to the Beat” concerts canceled? No, just virtual

Disney's getting a lot of details wrong in their announcements lately. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Several news sources said last week that Disney would not be holding its "Eat to the Beat" concert series at Epcot this year due to health restrictions. But Uncle Walt's Insider can tell you now that the concerts will go on -- virtually! "As always, our main concern at Disney (the company) is revenue," Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) shares. "Did I say revenue? ...

June 24, 2020 by Marty in Florida

Nailed it! Awesome graphic by Marty, © 2020 Uncle Walt's Insider, used without permission.

Uncle Walt’s Insider 2020 WDW Crowd Calendar the only one to predict shutdown

Just goes to show you can rely on Uncle Walt's Insider! UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- We are not usually the types to blow our own horn. First of all, we're string players, mostly. And also, we are really humble. Like, really humble. You would not believe how mind-bogglingly humble we are. It's one of our better characteristics, right up there with our looks, charm, and Zamboni-driving skills*. But when we're this right, we figured none of our competing Disney and theme ...

June 23, 2020 by Marty in Florida, Spotlight