“Without these stickers strategically placed on the ground, how will guests know when they are at least 6 feet apart!?!?”
ANAHEIM, CA — Disney will delay the re-opening of Disneyland — but only due to the lack of social distancing stickers.
Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) stated, “We were all set to re-open Disneyland. We have stockpiled enough hand sanitizer to flood a small town (in addition to the walk-through vats), there are hand washing stations setup every 15 feet, and we’re giving out masks like we give out celebration buttons! Look, I’m wearing 15 masks right now!
“However, with companies focusing on making masks, sanitizer, toilet paper, and ropes for pulling down statues, there is a shortage of social distancing stickers.”
Shirley, she can’t be serious!
Shirley McAdams, Vice President of Stickers for Disney Parks, affirmed the comments by Jun Disney (no relation).
“Yes, she is serious. We have rolls and rolls of Mickey stickers. We have three large warehouses, just in the Anaheim area alone, filled with nothing but Mickey stickers. But I cannot get one company who can deliver the necessary decals to enforce social distancing.
“Without these stickers strategically placed on the ground, how will guests know when they are at least 6 feet apart!?!? I mean, what if they get within 5 feet 11 inches of each other!?!? OH THE HUMANITY!!!”
Disney officials have no idea when they can re-open Disneyland, stating the sticker shortage could last well into 2021. Stay tuned to Uncle Walt’s Insider for more breaking news!
Do you have social distancing stickers at home? Let us know in the comments below!
Cover photo: The elusive Disney social distancing sticker. Photo by Jukeboxprint.com, modified.