Parks and Resorts Archives - Page 33 of 137 - Uncle Walt's Insider
A few of the non-Disney gondolas. Photo by DisneyTouristBlog.com, used by permission, modified.

To prevent virus, Skyliner cars will be hermetically sealed

Officials were inspired by the new Disneyland masks. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort and Spa and Biological Warfare Factory has had its share of odd rules over the last year. To combat the pandemic, park officials have required guests to fully immerse themselves in hand sanitizer, prohibited wearing gators (presumably just on the face), and have enforced social distancing on it's a small world dolls. But the latest step may be the oddest yet. "We're completely sealing the ...
March 21, 2021 by Marty in Florida
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You can save lots of $$ if you don't go here! Photo [CC0] via Wikimedia.

What to expect when Disneyland reopens

Here's all you need to know about the return to Walt's original park! ANAHEIM, CA -- Thanks to fake Biden's executive order and impenetrable mask breakthroughs, Disneyland may actually reopen soon! So we thought we'd share with you what to expect when you return to Disneyland. Buckle in, and away we go! Stale churros We hate to show any disrespect to Nature's Most Perfect Snack®, but that last batch of churros was made over a year ago. Expect them to be... well, let's just ...
March 15, 2021 by Marty in California
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Disney's "Harmonious" weather-control devices. Photo courtesy of DisneyTouristBlog.com, used by permission.

Disney moves weather control machines into World Showcase Lagoon

Finally, proof of the long-rumored Disney weather technology. E.P.C.O.T. CENTRE, FL -- As Disney struggles with the dome over Walt Disney World, they have made the bold move to bring the machines they use to control the weather into full view of guests. The devices were originally thought to be part of a new nighttime spectacular rumored to debut at EPCOT [Ed.: Can't believe fireworks were cancelled under this woke culture]. But Uncle Walt's Insider can now confirm that the new structures in ...
March 3, 2021 by Walt in Florida
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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Create a WDW touring plan without Fastpass+?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: I'm a little confused. I want to create a touring plan for the four parks at Walt Disney World, but all of the online advice talks about using Fastpass+ reservations. Can you give me a current touring plan?" - ...
February 22, 2021 by Marty in step-planDisney
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"Father," in the middle of a racist and homophobic rant, probably. Photo by SteamFan [CC BY-SA 3.0] via Wikimedia.

Another attraction gets woke – meet the new “Carousel of Progressives”

Welcome guest contributor Vier Eiken to Uncle Walt's Insider! No, he's not getting paid. BAY LAKE, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, Jello Factory, and Dog Track announced today that, in keeping with its commitment to inclusion and tolerance, the "Carousel of Progress" will be reimagined. The newly updated attraction will reopen in May after extensive changes. We reached out to Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), who was able to confirm the upcoming changes. While full details were ...
February 19, 2021 by Unpaid Intern in Florida
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