![Non-socially distanced villains at Walt Disney World. Photo by Leigh Caldwell [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/non-socially-distanced-disney-characters-768x403.jpg)
Headless horsemen are not nearly as scary as invisibly virus particles. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — Disney announced yesterday that it was canceling the crowd favorite Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Parties (called “MNSSHP” or “Menship” by fans) this year. Instead, they’re ramping up the terror with an all new “Mickey’s VERY Scary No-Mask Halloween…
Disney decides if you can’t beat ’em, transport ’em. ORLANDO, FL — It’s almost heaven: Main Street West, Blue Ridge Big Thunder Mountain, Shanandoah Rivers of America. Life is old there, older than the trees that dot the landscape of Walt Disney World. The mountains are young there, never growing more than 199 feet. But…
Why? Because they’re “eeeevil.” WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — When Walt Disney World fully reopens in July of 2025, a number of virus-prevention requirements will be in place. But not for everyone. Disney villains will not be required to wear masks, or practice social distancing. Realism “Our goal, as always, is realistic storytelling,” explains Disney…
![Goofy, shortly after being appointed CEO. We're assuming Toon Town is in shambles now. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/goofy-one-day-as-ceo-768x403.jpg)
Goofy wasn’t fit to be Disney CEO. His name isn’t Bob. BURBANK, CA — Mickey Mouse is back. After announcing his retirement yesterday, the Mouse “pulled an Iger” and announced his unretirement today. No formal reason was given. A source tells Uncle Walt’s Insider, however, that Goofy was a “disaster.” Anonymous sources Minnie Our source,…
![Mickey Mouse. Not Marty. Image by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.](https://unclewalts.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/not-me-as-mickey-e1591114467404-768x404.jpg)
He’ll still make appearances, but he’s turning over the running of the company to Goofy. BURBANK, CA — In a stunning move, Disney icon Mickey Mouse is retiring as the “big boss” of the Disney empire. The company announced today that Mickey, who is well into his 90’s, is “stepping away” to spend more time…