fake news Archives - Page 9 of 11 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Concept art -- very familiar-looking concept art -- for the new Disney's Florida Adventure theme park and spa. Image © Disney.

Walt Disney World to announce Fifth Gate: Disney’s Florida Adventure!

If we had known this sooner, it could have been the 14th surprise about how WDW is celebrating its 50th Anniversary. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Exciting news from Florida! Uncle Walt's Insider has learned that on October 1st, Disney Company CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek will announce a new "Fifth Gate" at the Walt Disney World Resort! This new theme park will be named "Disney's Florida Adventure." According to our sources, this revolutionary theme park will feature off the shelf attractions themed ...
July 31, 2021 by Walt in Florida
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Cinderella Castle, moved two inches to the left. Photo by Flickr user: Michael Gray Wantagh [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Walt Disney World forced to redraw borders; entire resort moved two inches

Why would you even rely on GPS in the 1960's? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Bad data from 1960-era GPS satellites has forced Disney to make minor changes to the entire Walt Disney World area, all 39 square miles. Orlando Land engineer Bucky "Buck" Buckercocktosten filed a drawing with the Reedy Creek Improvement District recently showing the errors. As it turns out, the borders in the initial survey differ from the borders actually used. The boundaries used during construction were off by ...
November 5, 2020 by Walt in Florida
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The entrance arch to the newly-renamed "Orlando Magic Kingdom." Photo by Ivan Curra [CC BY-SA-3.0] via Wikimedia.

Disney adds corporate sponsor for the renamed “Orlando Magic Kingdom”

Nothing like a sponsor to make up for lost profits. AMWAY CENTER, FL -- Amid financial losses and decreased attendance, The Walt Disney Company has turned to corporate sponsorship to make up some of the shortfall. Corporate sponsorship, of course, is nothing new to Disney. However, for the first time ever, an entire park will be sponsored. Disney has announced that Walt Disney World's Magic Kingdom will now be known as "The Orlando Magic Kingdom." Something about Basketball Uncle Walt's Insider was [Ed.: the ...
October 9, 2020 by X in Florida
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Is Minnie still alive? Photo [CC0] via Pxhere.

Publicity stunt? Minnie Mouse very much alive

Guests report seeing Minnie Mouse since her supposed demise earlier this week. DISNEYLAND, CA -- Less than one week after Uncle Walt's Insider reported that a feral cat had eaten Minnie Mouse, some guests report seeing Minnie alive and well in the park. This is not only extremely suspicious, but raises several questions. What really happened? How could this have happened? Here are the possibilities, starting with the most likely and going to the least: (1) It was all a hoax, staged by Disney, in order ...
March 23, 2019 by Marty in California
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The Babylon Bee is muscling in on our turf!

Opinion: Hey, Babylon Bee, stay in your lane

You handle the church satire, we'll do theme parks. M'kay? Satirical news site The Babylon Bee published an article recently titled Disneyland Unveils New Star Wars Ride That Builds Up Really High Expectations And Then Lets You Down Halfway Through. (The actual article was shorter than the headline.) Funny stuff, but this is our corner. Go work over there. Seriously, we at Uncle Walt's Insider love the Bee. It and The Onion are inspirations for UWI (except for our writer X, who I don't ...
March 16, 2019 by Marty in Other
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