fake news Archives - Uncle Walt's Insider
The letters in the word "acolyte" can be rearranged to spell "lye taco". This means something. Image © Disney.

Cancelled no more: Disney+ announces 4 more seasons of The Acolyte

"We had no idea more than one person ever even watched the show." BR'ER BANK, CA -- After a massive letter-writing campaign from fans, Disney+ has reversed its decision to cancel its controversial Star Wars series The Acolyte. Seasons 2, 3, 4 and 5 will begin production soon. The show, which is set in the Star Wars universe, we think, and is... about an acolyte or something (we didn't watch it), was initially canceled after one season of bad reviews and low ratings. ...
September 6, 2024 by Marty in Other
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UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Coconut allergies at WDW

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] “Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Are there any drupe/coconut producing trees at Walt Disney World? I’ve seen multiple palms in bloom, but do not know what species are there." – Rosalee M. M., Arkansas Walt: Hi Peggy. Thanks for asking. You can find coconut-flavored Dole Whips in the ...
May 11, 2024 by X in step-planDisney
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Reasons why Uncle Walt’s Insider hasn’t published any new content lately

Did our writers go on strike, and Walt didn't even notice? UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD - Faithful readers to this site [Ed.: We have those?] may have noticed a lot of, well, nothing lately. No doubt, this caused you to think "Wait, does the site still exist?" Which would be a very valid question. The answer, dear reader, is, of course, Yes. We do still exist. We still churn out [Ed.: not-so] copious quantities of award-winning satire. So where have we been? Here's ...
March 25, 2024 by X in Spotlight
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The change will, of course, come with a price increase. Photo by Coolcaesar [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia.

Disney hires Pepsi CFO; menu changes coming soon?

Will Disney replace the current overpriced sugar water with worse overpriced sugar water? BURBANK, CA -- In a recent corporate shuffle, the Walt Disney Company welcomed Hugh Johnston, the former CFO of PepsiCo, as their new Chief Financial Officer. While the financial world buzzes with this significant appointment, whispers suggest that there might be a subtle yet significant change brewing within Disney's iconic parks. The relationship between Disney and Coca-Cola has been as enduring as a timeless fairy tale, interwoven in the fabric ...
November 16, 2023 by X in Other
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UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Our opinion on the coming Oklahoma theme park

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: What do you think of the new theme park coming to Oklahoma?” – Chris T., Disney OK Marty: Dear Crisp, thank you for writing. It's good that you have a job where your official duties are so miniscule that they give you ...
August 5, 2023 by Marty in step-planDisney
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