Page 160 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Just today's resumé haul. Image by Quinn Dombrowski [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Buzzfeed, Vice reporters: please stop sending us resumés

We don't intend to be cruel but, well, we have standards. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- To all recently laid-off reporters from Vice, Buzzfeed, Vox, and other similar media outlets: you have our sympathy, but please stop sending your resumés to Uncle Walt's Insider. We'd have to drop our accuracy standards way too much to hire you. Sorry. This was too mean, wasn't it? It feels like it was too mean. Comment below! Need more Uncle Walt's in your life? Be sure to ...
February 12, 2019 by Marty in Other
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Really bad Magic Bands.

Disney test-markets “undesirable” Magic Bands

They're curious whether Disney fans really will buy anything. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- "They're intentionally ugly." That's the word from Violet Wahner, Senior Marketing Assistant for the Walt Disney World Parks and Resorts and Spas, about the new series of unattractive Magic Bands released today. "We've had this debate in Marketing for some time," Wahner tells Uncle Walt's Insider. "Most of the team is always trying to put the best, most interesting and desirable products out there. But several of us recognize that ...
February 11, 2019 by Marty in Florida
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True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks.

True Tales of Stupid Guests: Episode 6

"True Tales: from the files of Stupid Guest Tricks" is an ongoing series, where we share believable stories of park guests' unbelievable stupidity. FROM STUPID GUEST TRICKS -- StupidGuestTricks.com is a website founded to provide Disney Cast Members and other theme park employees a place to vent about some of the idiots they've dealt with. Most Cast Members will tell you that 99% of the guests they deal with are wonderful, but there's always that 1% that lead to aggravation -- and ...
February 9, 2019 by Marty in California
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Possible location for WDW fifth gate, Yesterland??? Image © 2019 Google Maps.

MAJOR NEWS: fifth Walt Disney World park announced!

The new park, dubbed "Yesterland," will feature classic attractions removed from other Disney parks. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- As Disney's four Florida theme parks now reach attendance capacity year-round, in spite of rising admission prices, fans around the globe have asked, "When will Disney build another park at Walt Disney World? When will we get a 'fifth gate'?" We now have an answer: next year!  And that's not all -- the new park will feature all the beloved old rides removed from ...
February 8, 2019 by Marty in Florida
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Three o'clock parade, time unknown. Photo by John Frost [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Ask a Cast Member: “What time is the 3 o’clock parade?”

Here's another ongoing article series we just made up. BAY LAKE, FL -- If you read any Disney message board or Facebook group, or talk to Cast Members, sooner or later this question comes up: "What's the stupidest question you were ever asked?" The inevitable response is "What time is the 3 o'clock parade?" Which makes you wonder... Are theme park guests really that stupid? [Ed.: Yes.] Are they just confused? [Ed.: Also yes.] Or do they really just want to know what ...
February 7, 2019 by X in Florida
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