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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Our thoughts on the Disneyland expansion

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: What do you think of the announced Disneyland area expansion in Anaheim?" - Mari Van Hanen, Green River WY Walt: Hi Eddie, thanks for asking. I think that the best days of Van Halen were during the David Lee Roth days. ... Read more
Artist's conception of what Disneyland would look like in the future if it hadn't already moved to Texas! Photo © 2021 Disney.

Disneyland expansion: what you need to know

We guarantee: there will be more or different stuff! (Fact check: true.) ANAHEIM, CA -- Disney announced expansion plans for its California parks this week, and fans around the world are waiting for more details to surface. We at Uncle Walt's Insider, however, have never liked waiting around for official (read: "correct") announcements. So, based on our access to inside information coupled with our imagination, and with our usual level of accuracy (17%), here's what you can expect from the new development ... Read more
You can save lots of $$ if you don't go here! Photo [CC0] via Wikimedia.

What to expect when Disneyland reopens

Here's all you need to know about the return to Walt's original park! ANAHEIM, CA -- Thanks to fake Biden's executive order and impenetrable mask breakthroughs, Disneyland may actually reopen soon! So we thought we'd share with you what to expect when you return to Disneyland. Buckle in, and away we go! Stale churros We hate to show any disrespect to Nature's Most Perfect Snack®, but that last batch of churros was made over a year ago. Expect them to be... well, let's just ... Read more
Pretty much the same park, except for the added firepower. Photo lifted from Twitter: @fakethemepark.

Fake Theme Park possibly moving to Texas

Sure, the picture looks the same, but you can tell it's in Texas from all the concealed-carry bulges. TWITTER -- As predicted by absolutely nobody, Fake Theme Park has joined the growing list of entities that have announced they are moving to Texas. In a now-deleted tweet, the popular theme park announced that they would be relocating from their current home in **FILLER TEXT** [Ed.: Be sure to find out where they're located before we publish this!] to a swampy inlet not far from ... Read more
Probably also the color is draining out. Photo by Michael Gray Wantagh [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

The truth about Extra Magic Hour elimination: Disney is running out of magic

Maybe cloth face masks filter out the magic? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Fans of the Walt Disney World Resort & Spa are still reeling over the loss of the Magical Express and Extra Magic Hours [Ed.: And pavement]. But like seemingly everything else these days, there is worse news behind the bad news. Disney has almost completely exhausted its store of magic. "We've been draining our magic supplies like crazy in the past few months," confesses Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney ... Read more