Rumor Archives - Page 6 of 90 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Not photoshopped. We use GIMP. Image by Disney. (Mostly.)

Top surprise announcements at the D23 Expo

Disney's going all in on... whatever the latest thing is. Sorry, we haven't read the article yet. ANAHEIM, CA - The yearly D23 Expo in Anaheim is always the source of juicy news, and as usual, Uncle Walt's Insider is full of it! Here are some of the biggest announcements from Disney this year: TRON Lightcycle Run's opening day announcement date announced The new Magic Kingdom attraction's opening date will be announced by September 3 of next year! Or maybe that was when they ...
September 21, 2022 by Marty in Spotlight
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Personally, we can't wait for the crossover series. Photo elements © Disney.

Ads, no ads, or really specific ads – new Disney+ tiers announced

This article brought to you by Disney+, unless you pay us. GLENDALE-ISH, CA -- Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is continuing his practice of adding charges to things that used to be free! During a recent earnings call, Chapek announced that streaming service Disney+ will be adding advertisements, but that an ad-free experience would still be available -- for an additional fee, of course. Our intrepid reporters [Ed.: I don't think our reporters have been intrepid since Covid hit] were able to discover the ...
September 7, 2022 by X in Other
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Oh, yeah. There's also a giant mask on Cinderella Castle. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World closed following Monkeypox outbreak

Wait, what did they put on Main Street USA??? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- In stunning news, exclusive to Uncle Walt's Insider [Ed.: Actually, most of the articles we make up are exclusive to us], Walt Disney World has shut down entirely due to an outbreak of monkeypox. Details are sketchy at the moment, so instead of making stuff up like we usually do, we reached out to our favorite Disney spokesperson. Our favorite Disney spokesperson Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ...
September 3, 2022 by Marty in Florida
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Disneyland reveals new Magic Key prices – with a blockout date surprise!

By Groot's Hammer, what a savings! ANAHEIM, CA -- In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob "Bob" Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store - changes that guests should love! Starting in August, guests will be able to purchase a Magic Key in one of four tiers, all at rock bottom prices! For large values of "rock bottom"  ...
August 18, 2022 by Walt in California
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Personally, we can't wait for the crossover series. Photo elements © Disney.

MORE future Star Wars & Marvel spin-offs coming to Disney+

It's like they're milking a dead horse, or beating the cow they rode in on. Or something. BR'ER BANK, CA - You thought our previous list of Star Wars & Marvel spinoffs coming to Disney+ was complete? Nay, nay! Disney's going to squeeze the blood from this turnip until the stars fall from the clowns. [Ed.: Will someone please work with Marty on his analogies?] Here's a few more you may not yet have heard of:  Extreme City Makeover: Mos Eisley From wretched hive ...
July 19, 2022 by Marty in Other
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