outbreak Archives - Page 4 of 6 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Emperor Palpatine, before he died. We think. Photo © Lucasfilm.

Emperor Palpatine died of Covid-19

In spite of what you think you saw onscreen, he had Covid in his blood at time of death. BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST, BATUU -- A short statement released by the First Order confirms what many outlets have been reporting: Emperor Palpatine is dead from the coronavirus. The statement is below. The statement "The First Order sadly announces that our beloved Emperor Palpatine's passing was due to complications of Covid-19. "While it is true he engaged in a glorious battle with a talentless young girl, only to ...
July 28, 2020 by Walt in California, Florida, Other
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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Where do you come down on the mask debate?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: Where do you come down on the whole mask debate?" - Anthony F., Washington DC   Baby Yoda: Baby Yoda: Marty: Make up your mind. Baby Yoda: Walt: Hi Tony, thanks for asking. You have the right not to wear one, but a business has the right to ...
July 27, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney
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Dreamfinder and Figment infected? No surprise -- they aren't ever socially distanced from each other! Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Dreamfinder and Figment in quarantine due to Covid-19

They're normally inseparable, so we imagine (get it?) quarantine together won't be too difficult. EPCOT, FL -- As the parks prepare to re-open, Disney has started to share what attractions, restaurants, and characters will be available. But notably missing from this list is Dreamfinder and Figment! Uncle Walt's Insider reached out to our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) for details. Innooooculation, innooooculation... "Sadly, yes, Dreamfinder and Figment will not be available. While HIPPA prevents us from discussing the details, I'll tell ...
July 17, 2020 by Walt in Florida
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The elusive Disney social distancing sticker. Photo by Jukeboxprint.com, modified.

Disneyland delays reopening due to shortage of social distancing stickers

"Without these stickers strategically placed on the ground, how will guests know when they are at least 6 feet apart!?!?" ANAHEIM, CA -- Disney will delay the re-opening of Disneyland -- but only due to the lack of social distancing stickers. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) stated, "We were all set to re-open Disneyland. We have stockpiled enough hand sanitizer to flood a small town (in addition to the walk-through vats), there are hand washing stations setup every 15 ...
June 27, 2020 by Walt in California
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If you're looking at this article on your phone, you know what the concerts will be like this year! Photo courtesy DisneyTouristBlog, used by permission.

Epcot “Eat to the Beat” concerts canceled? No, just virtual

Disney's getting a lot of details wrong in their announcements lately. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Several news sources said last week that Disney would not be holding its "Eat to the Beat" concert series at Epcot this year due to health restrictions. But Uncle Walt's Insider can tell you now that the concerts will go on -- virtually! "As always, our main concern at Disney (the company) is revenue," Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) shares. "Did I say revenue? ...
June 24, 2020 by Marty in Florida
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