Wait, what did they put on Main Street USA???
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- In stunning news, exclusive to Uncle Walt's Insider [Ed.: Actually, most of the articles we make up are exclusive to us], Walt Disney World has shut down entirely due to an outbreak of monkeypox.
Details are sketchy at the moment, so instead of making stuff up like we usually do, we reached out to our favorite Disney spokesperson.
Our favorite Disney spokesperson
Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ...
Can Covid actually infect all of those different Star Wars species?
BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST (CA, NOT FL) -- As many on Planet Earth attempt to return to some sort of normal, another planet is going back into lockdown. The Governor of Black Spire Outpost has announced that due to the Covid-19 Delta Variant, Batuu would enter lockdown once again.
While guests visiting the Disneyland Resort will still follow current CDC guidelines, those entering Black Spire Outpost must show a negative Covid test ...
Even malfunctioning, it's still more coherent than the real thing.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney Parks, Resorts & Spas officials have "taken advantage of a unique time in history," Uncle Walt's Insider has learned.
"We know that there have been a flurry of executive orders being signed by Biden," said our source, who wishes to remain anonymous. Disney (no relation) continued, "And we have a Biden animatronic in the Hall of Presidents, and a resort in California that's been shut down for ...