Batuu, Black Spire Outpost to restart planetary lockdown | Uncle Walt's Insider

Batuu, Black Spire Outpost to restart planetary lockdown

The anal probing was happening just off-camera. Thankfully. Photo by Sergey Galyonkin [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Can Covid actually infect all of those different Star Wars species?

BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST (CA, NOT FL) — As many on Planet Earth attempt to return to some sort of normal, another planet is going back into lockdown. The Governor of Black Spire Outpost has announced that due to the Covid-19 Delta Variant, Batuu would enter lockdown once again.

While guests visiting the Disneyland Resort will still follow current CDC guidelines, those entering Black Spire Outpost must show a negative Covid test and proof of vaccination, have their temperature checked, and submit to anal probing. They must also wear a mask with at least four layers of non-breathable material, a full face snorkeling mask, and clean socks.

What about that other part of Batuu? 

Uncle Walt’s Insider reached out to the Governor of Black Spire Outpost at Batuu East [Ed.: Florida] to find out if they will enter lockdown. After all, it’s the same planet, right? Right??? We’ll update our loyal reader(s) if we can get his response translated.

A representative for the Chief Na’vi Shaman on Pandora said they have no plans to enter lockdown, since everyone is just using a neural link to human avatars they grow locally on the planet.

[UPDATE: In response to a surprising number of very specific requests, many of them from West Hollywood, no, sorry, anal probes can only be requested by those visiting Black Spire Outpost.]

Will you still visit Batuu? Let us know in the comments below!

Need more Uncle Walt’s in your life? Be sure to LIKE us on Facebook, FOLLOW us on Twitter, and tell everyone you know!

Cover photo: The anal probing was happening just off-camera. Thankfully. Photo by Sergey Galyonkin [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.