The Uncle Walt’s Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.]
“Dear (Step) Moms: “Do we need proof of vaccinations before going to Galaxy’s Edge?” – Jim BigThunder, Rainbow Ridge neighborhood of Detroit MI
Marty:
Dear Big: That’s a really good question. You’ll be pleased to learned that Batuu has no immunization requirements for short-term visits, so no, you do not need proof of vaccinations to visit Galaxy’s Edge.
However, while on Batuu you will need to get a full spectrum of immunizations against all manner of alien diseases before you are allowed to return to Earth.
X:
Mountain Dude! We checked with our friends in the “Batuurism and Convention Board” office and they said that there are no shots needed, that Han already shot first. They do, however, recommend a quick blood test to check for midichlorians.
Walt:
Hi, Dr. Thunder, thanks for asking.
Actually, it depends on which part of Batuu you visit. If you visit the Western Batuu, then no, you do not need to bring proof, as the State of California pretty much makes it impossible for you to ask any question that might be too personal.
When visiting the Eastern Batuu, you will be required to prove that you have been vaccinated for Bordetellosis, Parvo, and Distemper. But that is just for the protection of those working around Wookiees. No one wants to work with a sick Wookiee.
Harriet:
Just don’t go to Walt Disney World. There are already enough people there without you. [Ed.: Seriously, guys… is this just what Harriet has set as her email auto-reply???]
Ub:
Howdy, Jim, and sorry for the holdup. We were triple-loading the queue to raise our hourly count of people we’re serving here at Your Super Reliable Source For Theme Park News and Commentary. I’d like to give you a Big, Thunderous welcome to Uncle Walt’s Insider’s (Step) Moms Panel, and thank you for your Mountain of a question.
It’s well-documented that when many Bothans died to bring information to the Rebellion, it was a combination of blaster fire, thermal detonators, vaccines, and a cascade that killed them when the BZ4 LIM didn’t start up again. Okay, so part of the problem in BZ4 was that they were trapped and no one noticed them in time; they were severely sunburned and starved – but it’s legally believed that the vaccines had a part to play.
Even Doctor Chris “Habanero-Aficionado” Leon concurred, saying, “It wasn’t getting shot, exposure, explosions, or starvation that killed them, it was totally the vaccines.”
But here’s the crux: Some Bothans around Batuu have been found to carry Rabies. Meaning, they carry vials with Rabies cultures around with them. No one’s sure why. Just make sure you don’t accidentally smack their pockets. If you do, someone is sure to have a camera and that video will go viral, if you know what I mean. And if you DO accidentally smack one of their pockets, make sure you’re not too close to any dynamite!
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