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Nailed it! Awesome graphic by Marty, © 2020 Uncle Walt's Insider, used without permission.

Uncle Walt’s Insider 2020 WDW Crowd Calendar the only one to predict shutdown

Just goes to show you can rely on Uncle Walt's Insider! UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- We are not usually the types to blow our own horn. First of all, we're string players, mostly. And also, we are really humble. Like, really humble. You would not believe how mind-bogglingly humble we are. It's one of our better characteristics, right up there with our looks, charm, and Zamboni-driving skills*. But when we're this right, we figured none of our competing Disney and theme ...
June 23, 2020 by Marty in Florida, Spotlight
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It will look like this on Day One. Photo courtesy Wallpaper Flare.

Disney Parks will now reopen at full capacity, calling crowds a “protest”

Apparently you're less likely to catch the virus if you hold certain points of view. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- As Walt Disney World inches towards its reopening date in 2025, the company is backtracking on its plans for social distancing. The parks first announced they would require guests to undergo temperature checks, maintain distance from people they like as well as those they don't, and immerse themselves completely in hand sanitizer. The company also said park capacity would be limited to ...
June 17, 2020 by Marty in Florida
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Former official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde’s Earring suspends campaign, does not endorse anyone

It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for them. BURBANK, CA -- Joe Rohde's Earring yesterday is suspending its campaign for the presidency. The brief press release issued yesterday gave three reasons for the decision. The campaign just never gained traction, due to "the quarantine preventing campaign events," "difficulty in fundraising," and the fact that "as an earring [it] is not Constitutionally eligible for the office." Because the campaign is only suspended, Joe Rohde's Earring could re-enter the race ...
June 3, 2020 by Marty in Other
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Seniors celebrate Grad Night at Walt DIsney World. Photo by Joe Penniston [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Photos from 2020 Walt Disney World “Grad Night”!

We have exclusive photographs of the festivities! WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It's that time of year again, when Orlando-area high school seniors gather at Walt Disney World to celebrate their graduation. And Uncle Walt's Insider has exclusive photos of the event! Enjoy! [Ed.: Marty, I know we run this same piece every year. Don't you think we should change the text?] [Marty: Nah. No one will notice.] Are you as depressed now as we are? ...
May 13, 2020 by Marty in Florida
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New official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde’s Earring exposed to Covid-19, in quarantine

The Earring has to keep six feet away from Joe Rohde. BURBANK, CA -- Joe Rohde's Earring may have been exposed to a person infected with the coronavirus. The famed Imagineer fashion accessory and presidential candidate is in quarantine, and must keep at least six feet from Joe Rohde. Fortunately, Rohde's earlobe can be stretched to seven feet, so he does not have to detach the earring. The Earring has canceled all campaign appearances for the foreseeable future. No explanation was given as ...
May 12, 2020 by Marty in Other
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