fake news Archives - Page 3 of 11 - Uncle Walt's Insider

Iger on Disney CEO search: “We’ll have to look internally”

Apparently all the good ones are already taken. BURBANK, CA -- Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Iger tells Uncle Walt's Insider that the search for his successor is apparently not going well. In a statement faxed to us by Disney (the Company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), Iger is quoted as saying, "As you know, I returned to the company for two years, and two years only, with my only goal being to find the next CEO of The Walt Disney Company. Unfortunately, all ...
April 4, 2023 by X in Spotlight
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The deal would include Universal's new Texas park, if only it existed.

Universal to discount new Passes based on time left on Disney Annual Pass!

But there are some caveats, provisos, quid pro quos... ORLANDO, FL -- Universal Studios Orlando apparently has a new plan to woo Disney Annual Passholders to switch to Universal, pro-rating the cost of a comparable Universal Annual Pass based on the remaining time of their Disney pass. A draft press release leaked to Uncle Walt's Insider gave details: Based on the type of Annual Pass you currently have with Disney and months you have left on it, Universal will pro-rate the cost of ...
March 28, 2023 by Walt in California, Florida
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We know it's cheaper to retheme an existing attraction... but why exactly is Mirabelle having a river adventure? Photo © Disney.

“Mirabelle’s River Adventure” opens in the newly rethemed Colombia Pavilion

No more Mexico Pavilion! Does Colombia have churros? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The "Gran Fiesta Tour starring the Three Caballeros," a/k/a the Mexico boat ride with Donald Duck and those two other birds, is no more. And neither is Epcot's Mexico Pavilion. We've known that a change was coming, since we figured Disney would want to freshen up the ride with a more recent I.P. than ¡Saludos Amigos! We of course predicted a Guardians of the Galaxy overlay, but then they built ...
March 4, 2023 by Marty in Florida
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For these riders, it truly was a once-in-a-lifetime experience! Photo © Disney via Tron Wiki.

Tron Lightcycle Run “derezzes” guests; opening delayed

We'll miss them. Some of them. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- Guests visiting the Shanghai Disney Resort, Spa, and Re-education Center have enjoyed the Tron Lightcycle Run attraction for decades [Ed.: decades?]. And while it may seem "old and busted" in Shanghai, it is the "new hotness" at the Magic Kingdom, which of course is in the heart of Florida at the newly re-dedicated Walt Disney World Resort, Spa, and De-programming center. However, the opening of the attraction has been delayed, due to ...
February 16, 2023 by Marty in Florida
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UWI step-planDisney

Step-planDisney: Should computer A.I.’s write all of our articles?

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: Was the article you published last Thursday ("Yes, Virginia, There is a Disneyland in Texas") really written by artificial intelligence? If so, will you start letting the A.I. write all your stuff from now on? It was pretty good." - ...
February 6, 2023 by Marty in step-planDisney
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