Uncle Walt's Insider Page 78 – Uncle Walt's Insider

Seniors celebrate Grad Night at Walt DIsney World. Photo by Joe Penniston [CC BY-NC-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Photos from 2020 Walt Disney World “Grad Night”!

We have exclusive photographs of the festivities! WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It's that time of year again, when Orlando-area high school seniors gather at Walt Disney World to celebrate their graduation. And Uncle Walt's Insider has exclusive photos of the event! Enjoy! [Ed.: Marty, I know we run this same piece every year. Don't you think we should change the text?] [Marty: Nah. No one will notice.] Are you as depressed now as we are? ...

New official campaign photo of Joe Rohde’s Earring, courtesy Joe Rohde’s Earring for President 2020. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

Joe Rohde’s Earring exposed to Covid-19, in quarantine

The Earring has to keep six feet away from Joe Rohde. BURBANK, CA -- Joe Rohde's Earring may have been exposed to a person infected with the coronavirus. The famed Imagineer fashion accessory and presidential candidate is in quarantine, and must keep at least six feet from Joe Rohde. Fortunately, Rohde's earlobe can be stretched to seven feet, so he does not have to detach the earring. The Earring has canceled all campaign appearances for the foreseeable future. No explanation was given as ...

May 12, 2020 by Marty in Other

(Step)Moms Panel: When will the lockdown end so I can get back to work?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step) Moms: I'm ready to get back to work. When do you think that will happen?" - Beth C., Gaithersburg MD Marty: No worries, Becky. I'm sure that the authorities will reopen everything just as soon as the risk of dying from ...

May 11, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney

Uncle Walt’s Insider Week in Review for May 10

Here's what you missed while doing something much less important! Appearing this past week on Uncle Walt's Insider: Monday (STEP) MOMS PANEL: SHOULD ONE OF OUR WRITERS START A REAL NEWS SITE? - Is there a defector in the ranks of the (Step) Moms? Ve haf vays of finding out! Tuesday STAR WARS WEEKENDS ARE BACK! - They're rumored to be canceled. And that's true. Maybe. We wrote the article and we're still not sure. Wednesday SKYLINER WILL REOPEN AS "MONSTERS INC. DOOR-LINER" - Have you ever wanted ...

May 10, 2020 by Marty in Spotlight

It was either use this stock photo or a clearly photoshopped one of Kim Jong Un shaking hands with Goofy.

Disneyland Pyongyang remains open

They just do everything right! PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA -- Amidst global shutdowns of the theme park and entertainment industries, one nation has managed to keep its Disney park operating. In fact, not just operating, but flourishing! In an article published yesterday, the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) reported that "His Excellency Marshal Kim Jong Un personally welcomed the five trillionth visitor to Disneyland Pyongyang." The "glorious meeting" was "a fruition of the wise guidance of the Workers' Party of Korea and the great ...

May 9, 2020 by Marty in World