Page 150 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Main Street Wind Turbine Parade, RIP. Photo by Dquai [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia Commons and Pexels.com.

“Main Street Wind Turbine Parade” suspended amid cancer concerns

Disney insists the measure is only precautionary. ANAHEIM, CA -- Showings of Disneyland's beloved and environmentally friendly "Main Street Wind Turbine Parade" have been halted, at least temporarily, after statements by a public official suggested the floats' wind turbines might cause cancer. "We're sure they're safe," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "We've been running this particular parade for the better part of a decade. And only a handful of the Cast Members on the floats have reported cancer diagnoses ...
April 11, 2019 by Marty in California
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A non-Disney-friendly, and therefore worthless, stroller. Photo courtesy eBay.

EBay flooded with listings for oversized strollers, wagons for cheap

Disney Parks' new stroller policy has guests desperate to recoup their investment. EbAY H.Q., WHEREVER THAT IS [Note: have the intern look this up.] [Ed.: For the thousandth time, Marty, we do not have an intern. And it's your week to empty the trash.] -- As of next month, large strollers are no longer allowed in Disney Parks and Resorts and Spas. And suddenly some families find themselves with large strollers costing hundreds of dollars -- and pull-wagons of any size -- that ...
April 10, 2019 by Marty in California, Florida, World
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Test Track, with new speed measuring signs. Photo courtesy Disney Tourist Blog, modified & used by permission.

Orange County Sheriff increasing in-park traffic enforcement

March statistics show an increase in citations for speeding, impeding traffic, and unsafe turns. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Orange County (Florida) Sheriff's Department is putting out the word: a traffic violation is a traffic violation, even in a Disney park. Break the law, and you will be ticketed, often before you even reach the gift shop. "It's true, we've been cracking down," says Sheriff's Department spokesperson Jun Sheriff (no relation). "Test Track in Epcot has always been a haven for speeders ...
April 9, 2019 by Marty in Florida
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Perky and popular Stacey (number three). Image courtesy ResortTV1 via YouTube.

Fourth Stacey clone debuts

No one person can be that perky for 14 years. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- She's been a fixture on Walt Disney World resort room televisions since 2005, as the perky and popular host of "Must Do Disney." She's Stacey, and she's about to be replaced. It's not the first time. I want to be a clone "Stacey's great," says George Kalogridis, President of the Walt Disney World Resort and Spa, "but she's so cheerful and animated in her appearances. She's bubblier than anyone I ...
April 8, 2019 by Marty in Florida
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Artist's concept of new Old South Pavilion. Photo by SolarSurfer [CC0] via Wikimedia.

Disney brings Southern Culture to former U.K. Pavilion

Confederate battle flags for sale are the first sign of the coming changes. EPCOT, FL -- While the fate of Brexit in Europe drags on, Uncle Walt's Insider can confirm that Brexit has occurred at Epcot! An eagle-eyed reader sent in photographic evidence that an all-new Pavilion is replacing the UK Pavilion. Old South merchandise signals a coming Southern Culture Pavilion. We have reached out to our favorite [Ed.: Let's be honest, she is the only one who tolerates us.] [Ed.: Be sure to ...
April 6, 2019 by Walt in Florida
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