Page 127 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Spider-Man, being held in Vault Disney? Photo by Marvel & Disney via throughthesilverscreen.com.

BREAKING: Disney kidnaps Spider-Man, refuses to give him back to Sony

With great profit comes great desperation. UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, ANAHEIM, CA -- As negotiations have broken down between Sony and Disney over the future of Spider-Man, one side has resorted to extreme measures. Rather than returning Spider-Man to Sony, Disney is apparently holding him as a bargaining chip. "It's absolutely not kidnapping," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). "For it to be kidnapping, you have to intentionally be keeping a person against their will. And Mr. Parker Spider-Man is being supplied ...
August 23, 2019 by Marty in Other
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The inspiration for the rethemed MIne Mine Mine Train. Photo by colorblindPICASO [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.

Confirmed: Seven Dwarfs Mine Train being rethemed to Finding Nemo

Disappointed guests and constantly low ridership leads to the change. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train was to be the crown jewel of the Magic Kingdom expansion known as New Fantasyland. But the out-of-touch executives in Burbank did not realize the public disdain for Walt Disney's first feature-length animated movie, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It may be the lack of interest in the source material, or just the poor ride experience, but the attraction is constantly a ...
August 22, 2019 by Walt in Florida
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UWI Step Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Weird to go to WDW as a single, childless adult?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Is it weird to go to Disney world as a single, childless adult?" - Zach Harris, Hartwick NY X: It depends on your intentions, but in general, I'd say it's not weird. Everyone has their happy place, and maybe Disney is yours. ...
August 21, 2019 by Marty in step-planDisney
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Princess Klinger. Photo courtesy CBS Television [Public domain] via Wikimedia.

New attraction coming based on Disney Princess Corporal Klinger

One of the most beloved Disney princesses is finally getting his own attraction! Wait, "his"? BURBANK, CA -- It's no secret that Disney has a big secret. And they are going to secretly announce their secret at the super-secret D23 Expo (that you probably haven't heard of unless of course you're a loyal reader of Uncle Walt's Insider). But we know the secret! The big announcement for this year's super-private event is: one of the most beloved Disney princesses is finally getting his ...
August 20, 2019 by Walt in California, Florida
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Tastes just like mouse to us! Video still from BEST TV ADS COMPILATIONS via YouTube, modified.

Disneyland stops serving mouse meat

They finally found a suitable substitute. DISNEYLAND, CA -- It's well-known to those with the proper sources that Disneyland uses mouse meat in their restaurants. They've just been quiet about it for years, not wanting to upset younger fans of Mickey & Minnie. Now a Disney insider tells Uncle Walt's, um, Insider that the mouse meat is going away. "Tastes just like mouse" "Disney is trying to stay ahead of the animal activists," says our anonymous source, a food service worker at Disneyland, "even though ...
August 19, 2019 by Marty in California, Florida
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