You put your Elon in, you take your Chapek out… Admit it, you started to sing that.
BURBANK, CA — According to several unreliable news outlets, former Disney CEO Bob “Bob” Iger is set to take over for Bob “Bob” Chapek as CEO of the Disney company. These reports cite numerous complaints against Chapek, but mainly his overuse of the word “magical” [Ed.: Especially all those “magical” new fees for guests, right?]
Despite these hopeful rumors of a triumphant return of Bob “Bob” Iger to the CEO desk, Uncle Walt’s Insider can say with 100% certainty that this rumor is false.
“I believe in the future,” said Walt Disney, so why look to the past?
Our sources tell us that a new CEO is coming, but it will not be former CEO Iger. (Or Michael “Bob” Eisner, as some scandalously inept website once reported.)
Instead, Tesla and SpaceX pioneer Elon Musk will be taking over at Disney. Sources with Disney upper management tell us, “Elon Musk is really the only real visionary out there right now. He can advance our tech, give us new and exciting ideas, and he is really the only guy who has the balls to stand up for what’s right.”
Musk already has a history with the Disney Company. The entrepreneur has provided actual spaceflight to Galaxy’s Edge, self-driving Tesla cars to Autopia, and served as a creative consultant to Disney Imagineering.
Elon “Bob” Musk
Insiders say that the deal is almost done. The one thing holding up the agreement is that Musk refuses to change his name from Elon to Bob.
We did reach out to Disney (the company) spokeswoman, Jun Disney (no relation), about this rumor. She just got all wide-eyed, stammered a bit, and then ran off. (But we’re about 80% sure she was wearing a SpaceX hat.)
Elon Musk would make a great Disney CEO! Do you agree? Let us know in the comments below!
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Cover photo: New Disney CEO Elon “Bob” Musk. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.
