Just noticed: Spaceship Earth makeover adds planet-killing laser |

Just noticed: Spaceship Earth makeover adds planet-killing laser

Artist's rendering of the new Epcot entryway, featuring greenery, fountains, and a planet-killing laser. © 2019 Disney.

How did we miss this?

WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — The recently-finished D23 Expo gave details on many changes coming to Epcot, including a new P.L. Travers ride, Moana-themed restrooms, and a statue of Walt gazing lovingly at a churro cart. But in all the excitement, we’ve apparently all missed a pretty significant detail in the concept art.

Spaceship Earth is getting a planet-killing laser installed.

Disney Parks and Resorts and Spas hung up on us when we mentioned the detail, but we soon received a call from Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation).

“Only if necessary”

“It’s true,” Disney (no relation) confirmed. “We have full access to the technology now that we bought Star Wars. With the Epcot makeover happening, we figured this would be a good time to install it.”

Disney (no relation) assured Uncle Walt’s Insider that the company has no current plans to use the weapon.

“No, no, we’ll only use it if it becomes necessary,” says Disney (no relation). “You know, like if there is an extinction-level meteor impact threatening Central Florida. Or if certain cross-town rival parks get too big for their own good, or Congress threatens to put Mickey Mouse into the public domain. You know, emergencies.”

Who should Disney use it on first? Let us know in the comments below!

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Cover photo: Artist’s rendering of the new Epcot entryway, featuring greenery, fountains, and a planet-killing laser. © 2019 Disney.