Three-day weekend? Time to phone it in.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — It’s Labor Day, which means Disney parks worldwide will be closed to give their Cast Members a long weekend off to spend with their families. And what’s good enough for the Mouse is good enough for Uncle Walt’s Insider! [Ed.: Actually, it’s much better.]
So for your holiday reading enjoyment, here are some news and rumors from around Walt Disney World and other parks worldwide, that we would write an article about if we weren’t lounging on the shores of the Arctic Ocean enjoying our homemade Dole Whips:
- Animatronic Donald Trump brokers new trade deal between Epcot’s Mexico Pavilion, The American Adventure, and Canada Pavilion.
- Kid Rock partners with Richard Sherman to write new music for Disneyland Escanaba.
- Tensions rise on the World Showcase Lagoon as Japanese whaling vessel sails too close to China Pavilion.
- New spray tanning salon to open in New Jersey pavilion
- China Pavilion occupies one of the tiny islands in the World Showcase Lagoon.
- Disneyland Resort to add third park in the courtyard between Disneyland and California Adventure.
- France Pavilion surrenders to every other pavilion.
- Jersey Shore attraction at Epcot closes after 6000 plastic straws wash up on shore.
- Disney execs discussing hostile takeover of Orlando’s Holy Land Experience.
- New Epcot pavilion rumored for Australia, New Zealand, or Tasmania. Or possibly Middle Earth.
- New Remy ride under construction at France Pavilion will have a rat petting zoo.
- Overseas Disney parks (in Paris, Tokyo, Shanghai, and Pyongyang) wonder why they are closed for Labor Day, and what Labor Day is.