BREAKING: New Disneyland coming to Central Park? | Uncle Walt's Insider

BREAKING: New Disneyland coming to Central Park?

Artist's conception of new Central Park... park. Photo composite via Pxhere & ©2018 Google Maps.

If they can make it there, they’ll make it anywhere.

NEW YORK, NY — Uncle Walt’s Insider may not have a perfect track record when it comes to reporting Disney rumors of new theme park locations. But in our defense, Oklahoma’s Disneyland Texas was killed by legal wrangling; Universal Studios Idaho was a hoax foisted on us by lonely Idaho…-ians; Disneyland Pyongyang may or may not exist, but it’s not really smart to try to travel there to see. And we were mostly correct about Disneyland Escanaba and the New Jersey Pavilion at Epcot, at least according to our own standards.

But this time, we have some stunning news that we are almost 100% certain is an actual rumor! Yes, a new Disneyland-style theme park may be coming to that big grassy area in the middle of Manhattan!

Unimpeachable sources*

We promise to deliver to you, our devoted readers [Ed.: both of you], nothing but the most super-reliable theme park news, so of course we need a super-reliable source. That, of course, is our favorite Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation).

“You are absolutely correct,” Disney (no relation) tells us. “That Disney (the company) will be building a new theme park in the heart of Manhattan is an actual, completely real, rumor that people are spreading. I can absolutely confirm that this is a story that is going around.”

Totally real!

So there you have it, folks. The Disneyland Manhattan rumor is completely verified as an actual piece of Disney speculation! You can trust Uncle Walt’s Insider when we tell you that you can rely on us to continue to spread the story. Besides, if it wasn’t real, would we have a picture of it?

Stay tuned here [Ed.: Can you be tuned in to a website?] for updates, particularly if this gets upgraded from “rumor” to “tall tale.”

*This is literally true. Because Disney (no relation) does not hold an elected office, she cannot be impeached. So there.

What other rumors would you like us to spread? Comment below!

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Cover photo: artist’s conception of new Central Park… park. Photo composite via Pxhere & ©2018 Google Maps.