virus Archives - Page 7 of 23 - Uncle Walt's Insider
What Walt Disney World used to look like at Christmas time. Stock photo from DepositPhotos.

Walt Disney World cancels Christmas

He took all their presents, their ribbons, their wrappings, Their snoof and their fuzzles, their tringlers and trappings! WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- For decades, Disney has embraced the holidays, overloading their parks with festive garlands, lights, music, and shows. There were few places in the world that celebrated the season like Walt Disney World. But not this year. In yet another indicator that 2020 really sucks, [Ed.: Are professional journalists allowed to say "sucks" now?] [Marty: Forget professional journalists. How about us?] park officials announced ...
October 21, 2020 by Marty in Florida
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We're already sick... of each other. Quarantine sign [CC0] via Pixabay.

Uncle Walt’s staff in quarantine after going viral

We're at an elevated risk, since we go viral so rarely. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- The entire staff of Uncle Walt's Insider has been quarantined in our Svalbard headquarters after one of our articles went viral recently.  As mentioned by completely non-political and unbiased website Snopes [Ed.: remember, we are satire.], a recent article we wrote was shared around the world and viewed millions of times. [We think it was the one about Six Flags opening a Hall of Vice Presidents. ...
September 21, 2020 by Marty in Other
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Former and current Disney CEO Bob 'Michael' Eisner. (Or is it Michael 'Bob' Eisner? We're so confused.) Photo by Ed Schipul [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Chapek out, Eisner back at Disney after poor earnings report

He's baa-aaaack! BURBANK, CA -- Just a couple of weeks since Disney released their latest earnings, Bob "Bob" Chapek is out as the CEO of the Walt Disney Company. Uncle Walt's Insider can confirm that the board has named Michael "Bob" Eisner as his successor. Bob "Bob" Iger, the once and future chairman of the Walt Disney Company, said in a closed door meeting that his legacy shouldn't be clouded by factors outside of his control. He is, therefore, bringing Bob (Eisner) ...
August 26, 2020 by Walt in Other
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UWI (Step)Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Are the reduced crowds at Disney worth having to wear a mask?

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step)Moms: I've read that (Step)Mom Walt recently visited Walt Disney World, and Marty spent several days at (though not necessarily in) Disneyland. Are the reduced crowds worth having to wear a mask all the time?" - Esther T., Pocatello, ID Marty: Dear ...
August 24, 2020 by Marty in step-planDisney
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Disney Takes Manhattan. Photo [CC0] courtesy MaxPixel & FreeSVG.

Disney buys island of Manhattan

Hey, look what they were able to do with swampland in Florida! NEW YORK, NY -- The Island of Manhattan used to be the crown jewel of New York City. The streets were filled with cars and people rushing from place to place. It was a huge hub of the world economy -- and had some of the highest real estate rates in the world.  However, once the Coronavirus found its way out of China, economies collapsed. Businesses were forced to shut their doors, ...
August 21, 2020 by Walt in World
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