virus Archives - Page 6 of 23 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Of all the color-coded maps of the United States, this is definitely the most recent! Image by Marty, used (inexplicably) without permission.

INSIDER EXCLUSIVE: What this map of United States reveals is shocking

All the other websites have maps. Why not us? UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- In what can only be described as "shocking" (it's right there in the headline, see?), a new map of the United States of America provides amazing insight into our current condition. Uncle Walt's Insider is the only place you will see this information, at least until Snopes tries to fact-check us again. "As you can see, there are many different colors on the map," said Marty Ralks, creator ...
December 5, 2020 by Marty in Spotlight
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New spray-on painted face masks at Walt Disney World. Photo [CC0] courtesy of pxhere.com & pxfuel.com.

Face-paint masks now offered at Walt Disney World

They're much easier to breathe in, also. DATELINE IN CAPS -- Gators may not be allowed, but now Walt Disney World is offering a mask alternative: face paint! Originally created by laid-off Photopass Cast Members as a way to pay their rent, the painted masks are proving to be extremely popular. Uncle Walt's Insider talked with one guest, Bruce Tomlinson from Lake Charles, LA, who asked not to be identified (pictured above). "These painted masks are awesome," the unnamed source said between coughing fits. ...
November 20, 2020 by Marty in California, Florida
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Cinderella Castle, moved two inches to the left. Photo by Flickr user: Michael Gray Wantagh [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Wikimedia.

Walt Disney World forced to redraw borders; entire resort moved two inches

Why would you even rely on GPS in the 1960's? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Bad data from 1960-era GPS satellites has forced Disney to make minor changes to the entire Walt Disney World area, all 39 square miles. Orlando Land engineer Bucky "Buck" Buckercocktosten filed a drawing with the Reedy Creek Improvement District recently showing the errors. As it turns out, the borders in the initial survey differ from the borders actually used. The boundaries used during construction were off by ...
November 5, 2020 by Walt in Florida
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Totally not a ride exit. Just a gift shop with a really fun and entertaining entrance. Photo by Patrick Pelletier [CC BY-SA 4.0] via Wikimedia.

Disneyland beats California ban, will open all rides as ‘shops’

The rides already exit into gift shops. Why not take advantage of that? ANAHEIM, CA -- Disney has already shown that you can safely operate a theme park. Billions of visitors currently at Walt Disney World (95% of them at Disney's Hollywood Studios) have proven that fact. However, California governor Gavin Newsome (D) has continued to force the parks to stay closed, which has led to longer bread and toilet paper lines, especially in Southern California. But now Disney park officials may have ...
November 2, 2020 by Walt in California
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You know we wear it as a badge of honor when Snopes debunks us, right? Photo source: Snopes.com.

An Open Letter to the Snopes Editorial Staff

Is this necessary? We thought Snopes was satire. UNCLE WALTS INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Dear Snopes Editorial Staff, We know you had to do it. We know that you had to remind the world that we're a satire web site (here and here). You've sworn an oath to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We understand. You're just doing your job. But, at the same time, we see how you described us. Reading between the lines, we sense the ...
October 27, 2020 by X in Spotlight
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