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Step-planDisney: Our opinion on the coming Oklahoma theme park

Uncle Walt's Insider step-planDisney (Step)Moms answer your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear step-planDisney (Step)Moms: What do you think of the new theme park coming to Oklahoma?” – Chris T., Disney OK Marty: Dear Crisp, thank you for writing. It's good that you have a job where your official duties are so miniscule that they give you ...
August 5, 2023 by Marty in step-planDisney
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The renamed & relocated Disneyland Escanaba. Photo courtesy American Heartland Theme Park and Resort (and Spa?).

Disneyland Escanaba sold to investors, moving to Oklahoma

Fire sale at the Disney Company! VINITA, OK -- Sources say Disney CEO Bob 'Bob' Iger, eager to raise capital for the struggling entertainment company, is quietly selling off pieces of the company. Money-losing parts of the company such as ABC, Freeform, FX, and Kathleen Kennedy are up for sale. And the latest piece of the company to go? Michigan's Disneyland Escanaba. Goodbye Yoopers The park, located (some say) in the Upper Peninsula of the state of Michigan, is most famous for three things: ...
July 22, 2023 by Marty in World
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We can't wait to visit Apple, Oklahoma! Photo [CC-BY-2.0] via eoi.es.

Apple to acquire Disney

We assume the deal includes the parks. City parks, that is. CUPERTINO, CA -- In a recently leaked memo from CEO Tim "Bob" Cook, it appears that Apple, the first company to hit $3 Trillion in valuation, is poised to spend some of their stockpiled cash on acquiring Disney! Fans of Mickey Mouse dismayed by our misleading headline need not worry, however. In the leaked memo, Cook allegedly says, "Disney, Oklahoma, has a low population, and our research has shown that it would ...
January 8, 2022 by Walt in Other
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Pretty much the same park, except for the added firepower. Photo lifted from Twitter: @fakethemepark.

Fake Theme Park possibly moving to Texas

Sure, the picture looks the same, but you can tell it's in Texas from all the concealed-carry bulges. TWITTER -- As predicted by absolutely nobody, Fake Theme Park has joined the growing list of entities that have announced they are moving to Texas. In a now-deleted tweet, the popular theme park announced that they would be relocating from their current home in **FILLER TEXT** [Ed.: Be sure to find out where they're located before we publish this!] to a swampy inlet not far from ...
January 26, 2021 by X in World
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Construction of Disneyland Texas, probably! Photo by Philip Hawling [CC BY-SA 2.0] via www.geograph.org.uk; inset photo via DepositPhotos.

Construction underway for Disneyland Texas; location revealed!

It'll be so easy to get to! FUTURE SITE OF DISNEYLAND TEXAS -- Are you as excited as we are for the newly-relocated Disneyland in Texas? Uncle Walt's Insider is thrilled to announce that ground has been broken, and construction has begun! And the new location is just where many predicted it would be. Your reporter was invited on a tour of the property, led by Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation). After a bit of a delay in my getting to ...
October 18, 2020 by Marty in California, World
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