Apple to acquire Disney

We assume the deal includes the parks. City parks, that is.

CUPERTINO, CA — In a recently leaked memo from CEO Tim “Bob” Cook, it appears that Apple, the first company to hit $3 Trillion in valuation, is poised to spend some of their stockpiled cash on acquiring Disney! Fans of Mickey Mouse dismayed by our misleading headline need not worry, however.

In the leaked memo, Cook allegedly says, “Disney, Oklahoma, has a low population, and our research has shown that it would be cheaper to acquire this land with existing infrastructure than to buy and build out elsewhere. It is also located near a dam used for hydroelectric power generation. This is in-line with our goals of maintaining zero carbon emissions for new facilities.”

We were going to reach out to the mayor of Disney, OK, or as we know him, “HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED”, but then we remembered what happened last time we said his name. Boy, that was a hoot! [Ed.: He sure Tutered us about using his name, didn’t he?]

I can’t believe Apple is going to buy Disney, can you? Let us know in the comments below!

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Cover photo: We can’t wait to visit Apple, Oklahoma! Photo [CC-BY-2.0] via eoi.es.