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Not photoshopped. We use GIMP. Image by Disney. (Mostly.)

Top surprise announcements at the D23 Expo

Disney's going all in on... whatever the latest thing is. Sorry, we haven't read the article yet. ANAHEIM, CA - The yearly D23 Expo in Anaheim is always the source of juicy news, and as usual, Uncle Walt's Insider is full of it! Here are some of the biggest announcements from Disney this year: TRON Lightcycle Run's opening day announcement date announced The new Magic Kingdom attraction's opening date will be announced by September 3 of next year! Or maybe that was when they ...
September 21, 2022 by Marty in Spotlight
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Personally, we can't wait for the crossover series. Photo elements © Disney.

Ads, no ads, or really specific ads – new Disney+ tiers announced

This article brought to you by Disney+, unless you pay us. GLENDALE-ISH, CA -- Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek is continuing his practice of adding charges to things that used to be free! During a recent earnings call, Chapek announced that streaming service Disney+ will be adding advertisements, but that an ad-free experience would still be available -- for an additional fee, of course. Our intrepid reporters [Ed.: I don't think our reporters have been intrepid since Covid hit] were able to discover the ...
September 7, 2022 by X in Other
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Hey, look! He's even doing the two-finger point! Photo courtesy TripAdvisor, slightly (?) altered.

Disney to buy Holy Land Experience, replace images of Jesus with CEO Chapek

Walt: "Hey, Marty, can you make a cover image for a story on Bob Chapek replacing Jesus without being too blasphemous?" Marty: "Can I finally get paid for doing this?" Walt: "Ha ha ha ha ha! No." ORLANDO, FL-- Disney has announced exciting plans to acquire and reopen the Holy Land Experience theme park! In an all-cash deal valued at, oh, let's round it up to $20, Disney will buy the property, buildings, and intellectual property associated with the park. (See our companion article: ...
August 29, 2022 by Walt in Florida
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What, no tacos? Photo by DisneyTouristBlog.com, used by permission, modified.

Disney Skyliner’s new emergency kit: what’s inside

Just in case the gondolas get stranded again. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- It's been a while since Disney's Skyliner gondola system crashed and left hundreds of riders stranded in the air for hours. But that doesn't mean that the Mouse isn't ready for the next time it happens! When the Skyliner first malfunctioned in what is now known as the Great Aerial Stranding of 2019, we learned that each gondola is equipped with an emergency supply kit. These kits, stored under the ...
June 12, 2022 by Marty in Florida
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Who knows what he's planning next? Oh, wait, we do. Read the article. Why are you reading the copyright notices first anyway? Photo © Disney & SI.com.

Top 13 other things Ron DeSantis may do to punish Disney

No, Disney, he's not done with you yet! TALLAHASSEE, FL - Florida governor Ron DeSantis has been bringing a smackdown to the Disney company lately. Ever since Disney publicly opposed the popular Don't Groom Kids law in Florida (and video leaked of Disney exec meetings admitting they were inserting sexuality into kids' programming), Florida has been finding ways to make them regret it. DeSantis and the state legislature have repealed the Reedy Creek Improvement District, Disney's self-governing body. And there may be ...
May 29, 2022 by Marty in Florida
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