Just in case the gondolas get stranded again.
WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL — It’s been a while since Disney’s Skyliner gondola system crashed and left hundreds of riders stranded in the air for hours. But that doesn’t mean that the Mouse isn’t ready for the next time it happens!
When the Skyliner first malfunctioned in what is now known as the Great Aerial Stranding of 2019, we learned that each gondola is equipped with an emergency supply kit. These kits, stored under the seats inside the cabin, are equipped with everything you need in case you are left dangling in midair with no rescue in sight, unremembered and unloved.
According to inside sources, the contents of the kit have recently changed. So what’s inside those Skyliner kits now?
A coupon good for 50 cents off bottled water
Good thinking, as guests might be a bit thirsty after swinging in the breeze for hours on end. Redeemable at any Disney quick-service dining location. Limit 2 bottles per gondola.
A glow stick
This is actually unchanged from the original kit. Disney wants you to be ready in case a rave breaks out.
Kids’ books to pass the time
Disney thinks of everything! The kit we saw had three books: Genderqueer, Heather Has Two Mommies, and Goofy’s Drag Queen Adventure.
Hard liquor
They’re not just thinking of the kids! Adults can select from a half dozen airline-size bottles of booze. Of course, Bob “Bob” Chapek is still in charge, so you will be billed for every one you consume, hotel mini-bar style.
Recall petition against Gov. Ron DeSantis
The instructions say, in bold print, that signers will be given higher priority during rescue operations.
Fireworks schedule for all the parks
Especially useful if the ride breaks down at night, you’ll have a great view over the trees to each park’s nighttime entertainment.
Disney Cruise Line and DVC marketing flyers
Why not pass the hours planning your next Disney vacation? Surely the next one won’t be a disaster.
Prophylactics
Kids, skip on to the next item, especially if you don’t know what that word means. But for the adults, hey, free time is free time. Why be lonely?
A festive “Sorry” card with a drawing of Mickey Mouse
Even the most terrified, dehydrated, or angry guest can’t help but smile when Mickey apologizes for your nightmare!
What other items should be included? Let us know in the comments below!
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Cover photo: What, no tacos? Photo by DisneyTouristBlog.com, used by permission, modified.
