Page 98 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Leaked photo of Disneyland Escanaba construction, probably. Photo by spejder.dk. Inset photo by Adirondack Explorer.

UPDATE: Disneyland Escanaba construction underway!

We're bumping our regular (Step)Moms Panel discussion for this breaking news! ESCANABA, MI -- Yoopers across the globe are celebrating, because they will soon have a Disney park in their own backyard. That's an expression, by the way. The park won't be literally in anyone's backyard. That would cause a lot of problems, and the park would have to be really small. Unless they found someone with a gigantic backyard. ... What were we writing about again? Oh, yeah. Silencing the doubters While some ...
February 5, 2020 by Marty in World
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Mug shot of Joe Rohde's Earring. Photo by alchetron.com [CC BY-SA 3.0].

BREAKING: Joe Rohde’s Earring takes Iowa caucuses

Voters want a candidate that can win and look stylish doing so. DES MOINES, IA -- Having announced its candidacy for president just one week ago yesterday, Joe Rohde's Earring is certainly making a splash in the 2020 Presidential Election. Uncle Walt's Insider can announce that, with all precincts reporting, Joe Rohde's Earring has won the Iowa Democratic Caucuses with 53% of the vote. We will continue to follow the campaign. Also, you can follow Joe Rohde's Earring on Twitter at @realjoesearring. UPDATE 10:34am: ...
February 4, 2020 by Marty in Other
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Artist's concept of the Great Epcot Congressional Uprising of 2020. Photo from Library of Congress [public domain] via Wikimedia.

AI upgrade leads to brawl at Disney’s Hall of Congress

They should have known not to give them competing programming. EPCOT, FL -- A recent AI software upgrade at Disney's Hall of Congress, located in the dark alley behind the American Adventure Pavilion, led to an all-out brawl between the Democrat and Republican animatronic figures. The upgrade happened before the park opened, and Disney Imagineers were able to restore the original software from backup. Disney (the company) spokesperson, Jun Disney (no relation), shared details on the upgrade. Fox vs. CNN "Software upgrades are routine, and ...
February 3, 2020 by Walt in Florida
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Kudos to Google Maps for updating their images so amazingly fast! Photo © 2020 Google Maps, used by permission, and maybe modified a wee bit.

BREAKING: Brexit in effect; Epcot’s UK pavilion disappears

We interrupt your normally scheduled (Step)Moms Panel Discussion for this breaking news. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- While much of the United Kingdom celebrates its exit from the European Union and awaits what happens next, guests of Epcot were stunned to find that the UK Pavilion had disappeared. "It's just a bare patch of dirt now," says Gerald Myerly, a visitor from Boca Raton, Florida. "This was not totally unexpected," says Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation), "especially to readers of Uncle ...
February 1, 2020 by Marty in Florida, World
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I wonder if we'll have to pay to use this cover photo now? Photo source: Literally everywhere.

Disney acquires “lady yelling at cat”; new Animal Kingdom land coming?

Don't look at the cover photo. Disney may soon charge you for it. BURBANK, CA -- In its latest move towards Total Domination of All MediaTM, the Disney Company has acquired ownership and all publishing rights in the "lady yelling at cat" meme. Sources say that the company is still considering how best to use the property. It's early in the process, but there may be a lady/cat feature film, a new series on Disney+, or a new land at Disney's Animal Kingdom ...
January 31, 2020 by Marty in Florida, Other
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