Page 118 – Uncle Walt's Insider
Empty promises on a Skyliner sign. Photo by wdwnt.com.

Skyliner reopens; riders advised to pack for an overnight stay

Repairs now give "better than 50%" chance of completing your journey. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Just a little over a week after the Great Skyliner Immobility of One-NinerTM (and Disney's unpopular attempt to turn it into an attraction), the Disney Skyliner gondola system has reopened to guests. Park officials report that repairs and changes made to the system now give it much higher reliability rating, "better than 50%." Your humble reporter [Ed.: Who?] called to ask what length of time the 50% ...
October 15, 2019 by Marty in Florida
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Ford, seen here napping between ride vehicles. Photo by Loren Javier [CC BY-ND 2.0] via Flickr.

Harrison Ford retiring from Indiana Jones Adventure

He'll be replaced by audio-animatronics. DISNEYLAND, CA -- Actor Harrison Ford, age 77, has informed Disneyland officials that he will no longer be playing Indiana Jones in the Indiana Jones Adventure ride. A spokesperson for the actor says that the repeated performances for each ride vehicle, involving rope climbing and outrunning large boulders, was becoming too much for Ford, especially when combined with his multiple daily performances in Florida's Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular. The ride will be closed for "refurbishment" in early November. ...
October 14, 2019 by Marty in California, Florida
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UWI Step Moms Panel

(Step)Moms Panel: Christmas favorites!

The Uncle Walt's Insider (Step) Moms Panel answers your real questions with their own totally reliable advice. [Lawyer-mandated disclaimer: do NOT rely on this advice. Our panel of experts may or may not be actual stepmoms, but they are definitely evil.] "Dear (Step) Moms: The holiday season is approaching! What is your favorite thing about Walt Disney World at Christmastime, and when is the best time to visit?" - Cindy Torborg, Idaho Falls ID Walt: Hi Cindy, thanks for asking. My favorite things ...
October 12, 2019 by Marty in step-planDisney
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A newly Bahamian-registered Friendship boat at Epcot. Photo via DepositPhotos.

Disney reflags Friendship boats, requiring foreign port call

Docking at the Morocco and Germany Pavilions may not satisfy the "non-U.S. port of call" requirement, though. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- In what is being called a cost-saving measure, the Walt Disney World Resort and Spa has reflagged its fleet of "Friendship boats." The boats now are officially registered in the Bahamas. Having foreign-flagged vessels operating in U.S. waters is not unusual. Most cruise lines, including Disney's, have non-U.S. flagged ships, so that U.S. labor laws will not apply to their crew. Foreign ...
October 11, 2019 by Marty in Florida
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Churros. Mmm... churros. Photo by Mark Mitchell [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr. Churros. Mmmmm....

FACT CHECK: Are churros better than cream cheese pretzels?

By a mile. Claim Churros are better than cream cheese pretzels. Rating TRUE, DUH. Analysis Recently opinion-checking website Snopes.com, in a transparent effort to bolster its flagging reputation, reached out to Unclewalts.com to fact-check the claim that churros are better than cream cheese pretzels.  So Snopes spokesperson Juns Nopes (no relation) went along with our very own Uncle Walt on a fact finding mission to Main Street, U.S.A. Mission: compare the delicious churro to the abomination that is the cream cheese pretzel.  After taking a bite of her churro, ...
October 10, 2019 by Walt in Other
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