Page 10 – Uncle Walt's Insider
PhotoPass photographers are going to have a tough time getting them to stand still when the wind blows. Photo by Walmart.com.

Disney to replace live characters with inflatables

More of Chapek creating magic! (For his accountants.) WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- The Walt Disney World Resort is known for its world class hotels, restaurants, and theme parks. It's also the place where children of all ages can meet their favorite characters, such as Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, and Ensign Thomas Garland. But as Uncle Walt's Insider has learned, there are some changes coming to the character-meet experience. In a recent interview, Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek discussed his history ... Read more
Our AI's Round 3 email arrived this morning! Photo © Disney, used with permission, maybe.

Computer A.I. advances to Round 3 of planDisney panel search

If it makes it, this will be the first computer-generated personality to make it onto the panel -- that we know of. LONGYEARBYEN, SVALBARD -- The search is on for new members for the planDisney trip advice panel!* Tens of thousands of applicants have already been eliminated, and the remaining few are keeping their fingers crossed. But one potential panelist has no fingers to cross. That's because the applicant, "John Q. Disneyfan of St. Louis, Missouri," is not a person, but an ... Read more
We're really not accusing anyone. At least, not in any legally-actionable way.

UWI Story Idea Vault breached; investigation ongoing

That cover photo is just a placeholder. No accusations are being made. Yet. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Uncle Walt's Insider today announced (by this article, in fact) that they are investigating a breach into their Vault of Story Ideas (known also as the Story Idea Vault, or the Idea Vault of Stories). The U.W.I. Story Idea Vault (see previous paragraph) is kept under lock and key inside the renowned Svalbard Global Seed Vault, known for its ultra-tight security.* "We're not sure who ... Read more

Citing “too many poor people here,” Disney raises prices… again

Also, the unnamed executive's ringtone was a "cha-ching" sound, over and over again. BURBANK, CA -- On a recent visit to Disneyland, an unidentified Disney executive (pictured) was overheard saying that there are "too many poor people here." The unnamed executive suggested that Disneyland should be like a country club: overpriced, exclusive, and offer mediocre experiences at a premium price. So, as you might expect, we at Uncle Walt's Insider predict more price increases coming to Disney parks. (We also have successfully predicted ... Read more
The detached head of Figment, now on sale at Mouse Gear, er, the Creations Shop. Photo courtesy viajandoparaorlando.com.

Bob Chapek beheads Figment in a fit of rage

Then they attached a strap and sold it in the Creations Shop! EPCOT, FL -- Tragedy has struck in the midst of the 40th anniversary celebration of EPCOT Centre. During a show celebrating all things Epcot, Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Chapek reportedly became angry as Walt Disney's name was mentioned over and over, while no one acknowledged Chapek's contributions to the park. (Those "contributions" include scaled back offerings, price increases, and overall lowering the value of park admission.) Shockingly, when Chapek's anger reached ... Read more