virus Archives - Page 2 of 23 - Uncle Walt's Insider
Okay, they say they've cancelled the plans to open a camp at Toowoomba. They "say". Image via clipartpanda.com & clipartion.com.

Australian quarantine camp renamed “Disneyland Down Under” to quell protests

We're already booking our plane tickets. TOOWOOMBA, AUSTRALIA -- The government of Australia has figured out how to counter the protests against their aggressive anti-Covid policies: marketing. "That's right," Down Under (the country nickname) spokesperson Jun Under (no relation) tells Uncle Walt's Insider. "When we rip someone out of their home and ship them to a 'camp' based on a health scare, for some reason a lot of folks didn't like it. I mean, not just the ones we're locking up, but other ...
September 29, 2021 by Marty in World
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Any risk is totally worth the reduced-price Disney-branded adhesive bandage, right? Photo by freeimageslive.co.uk [CC BY 3.0].

Disney-branded Covid-19 vaccine approved for children

This isn't just another Disney cash grab, is it? Nah. BURBANK, CA - Disney has won FDA approval for its own branded Covid-19 vaccine, the company announced yesterday. The new vaccine will be marketed toward children under the age of 12, and also to adults who act like children under the age of 12. Initially, the company will target markets in Washington State, Oregon, California, and New York; that is, states where the government is willing to be authoritarian combined with a majority ...
August 27, 2021 by Walt in Other
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The anal probing was happening just off-camera. Thankfully. Photo by Sergey Galyonkin [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

Batuu, Black Spire Outpost to restart planetary lockdown

Can Covid actually infect all of those different Star Wars species? BLACK SPIRE OUTPOST (CA, NOT FL) -- As many on Planet Earth attempt to return to some sort of normal, another planet is going back into lockdown. The Governor of Black Spire Outpost has announced that due to the Covid-19 Delta Variant, Batuu would enter lockdown once again. While guests visiting the Disneyland Resort will still follow current CDC guidelines, those entering Black Spire Outpost must show a negative Covid test ...
July 16, 2021 by Walt in California, Florida
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What fireworks looked like before they were forced to wear masks. Photo by Candace Lindemann [CC BY 2.0] via Flickr.

Maskless fireworks returning to Walt Disney World

So apparently when you wrap a fireworks shell in a mask, it doesn't work the same? Huh. MAGIC KINGDOM, FL -- As billions of guests once again pass through Disney parks turnstiles each day around the globe, one thing has been missing: fireworks. It's been over a year since Disney put on a fireworks show. Or so we thought -- Disney (the company) insists that the fireworks never left! A muffled Fantasy in the Sky "The fireworks?" Disney (the company) spokeschickperson Disney (no relation) explains, "We've ...
June 28, 2021 by Walt in Florida
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Someone got a little carried away with the "no mask" celebration! Photo by Carlos [CC BY-NC 2.0] via Flickr.

Cast Member “working with” Mickey Mouse misunderstands “no mask” rule, ruins magic for many

Warning to anyone who believes the theme park characters are real and not humans in a costume: don't read this article. Or this warning. WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- Disney Cast Member Fabiana Cooper, whose name is being withheld for employee discipline reasons, caused a stir yesterday at the Magic Kingdom. Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) gave Uncle Walt's Insider the details. "The unnamed Cast Member [Ed.: Fabiana Cooper] misunderstood the new rules," said Disney (no relation). "We had announced ...
June 19, 2021 by Marty in Florida
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