Uncle Walt's Insider uncle walts insider Archives

Reasons why Uncle Walt’s Insider hasn’t published any new content lately

Did our writers go on strike, and Walt didn't even notice? UNCLE WALT'S H.Q., SVALBARD - Faithful readers to this site [Ed.: We have those?] may have noticed a lot of, well, nothing lately. No doubt, this caused you to think "Wait, does the site still exist?" Which would be a very valid question. The answer, dear reader, is, of course, Yes. We do still exist. We still churn out [Ed.: not-so] copious quantities of award-winning satire. So where have we been? Here's ...

No one at Disneyl... Hang on, we publish this at 6 am Pacific Time, well before the park opens. And why would there be sunlight? Photo via Twitter.

Iger: Cast Members must return to office; #outwithiger trends on Twitter

Ride operators at the parks will finally be on-site again instead of pushing buttons from home! BR'ER BANK, CA -- Newly reinstated Disney CEO Bob "Bob" Iger has told employees that the days of working from home are coming to an end. Effective March 1, 2023, Disney employees will be required to work in person at least four days per week, including at the many Disney theme parks around the globe. And Cast Members are not happy with the order! Uncle Walt's Insider ...

January 11, 2023 by Walt in World

Meet the newest Disney Imagineer. Photo © 2021 Google / Street View.

Elon Musk to purchase Uncle Walt’s Insider

He wanted to buy the Babylon Bee, but that's actually worth something. UNCLE WALT'S INSIDER H.Q., SVALBARD -- Fresh off his purchase (and purge) of Twitter, billionaire Elon Musk announced today his plans to purchase Uncle Walt's Insider. The move comes after his first attempt to buy a news satire site, The Babylon Bee, fell through, due to the Bee "actually being worth something." While the final purchase details for Uncle Walt's have not been disclosed (unlike Twitter, U.W.I. is not a publicly ...

November 18, 2022 by Marty in Spotlight

Oh, yeah. There's also a giant mask on Cinderella Castle. Photo by Michael Gray [CC BY-SA 2.0] via Flickr.

BREAKING: Walt Disney World closed following Monkeypox outbreak

Wait, what did they put on Main Street USA??? WALT DISNEY WORLD, FL -- In stunning news, exclusive to Uncle Walt's Insider [Ed.: Actually, most of the articles we make up are exclusive to us], Walt Disney World has shut down entirely due to an outbreak of monkeypox. Details are sketchy at the moment, so instead of making stuff up like we usually do, we reached out to our favorite Disney spokesperson. Our favorite Disney spokesperson Disney (the company) spokesperson Jun Disney (no relation) was ...

September 3, 2022 by Marty in Florida

Disneyland reveals new Magic Key prices – with a blockout date surprise!

By Groot's Hammer, what a savings! ANAHEIM, CA -- In a recent earnings call, Disney CEO and Grand Poobah Bob "Bob" Chapek had some big news that Disney fans are sure to love! While speaking about huge profits from the parks department, he said that big changes were in store - changes that guests should love! Starting in August, guests will be able to purchase a Magic Key in one of four tiers, all at rock bottom prices! For large values of "rock bottom" ...

August 18, 2022 by Walt in California